You’re Only Gonna Let Me Down

          I have recently started a new position at my job. I was made a manger over the receiving dock in the department store. Luckily my employees do not have to worry about sales or customers. I work with some of the best people I have ever met. They are all very helpful and hard working. The only problem is that I cannot communicate with most of them. Four of them speak English, even then it is broken English for two of them. With the other two it is unique because one is a 50 year old Autistic guy and the other is older and he is kind of off because of a past head injury. Needless to say it is hard for me to express my appreciation when it is hard to communicate with them.
          Before I became the manager of the house-keepers and the handymen I was just a lowly sales associate. Something we had a little fun doing was bashing on the cleaning ladies. I am sorry to admit it but we did complain a lot about the dust. Still to this day I am a little bugged about how dusty it is; that is only something I have to fix myself. This is relevant to the point, I promise.
          Once I have become their manager I see how hard they work. I also see how poorly they have been treated by other managers in the past. The reaction from the majority of them when I was put in this position was kind of funny to me. They would say to me, “Finally a manager who will work” whether it was in their broken English or mumblings. Now I can see how the position I am filling has been neglected and treated as a royalty position in a way. The last manager would assign his people to work and then go chat it up with other managers and leave the hard work to his employees while he abandoned them for social gatherings. When going into this spot I knew I needed to be an equal with my employees (on a working level) I know I will have to show seniority over them eventually. I have had to do that a bit already.  But I think respect is needed for them because of all the work they have to do.
          Today we had a shipment of clothes and other things for the store, so we had to unload the freight. This is not an easy task, and we had to get it all done and put away today because tomorrow we have another tuck that will bring the same amount of stuff and possibly more. We got everything arranged and on the floor for the associates to put away. As I was on my way out the door for the day I was stopped by a lady, whom I really like, and she starts degrading my employees; calling them dumb, incompetent and lazy. She expected them to know exactly what merchandise she had in her area. “The Wool-Rich clothes don’t go over here!” and “I had to walk a lot of Juniors clothes to their area!” I was surprised to see her talking to me like this. The comment that really got to me was, “If I did my job as poorly as they do theirs I wouldn’t have a job.” She let me down at that point. I was really sad to see her talking about these awesome people so poorly. I tried to defend them, but she talked down each positive remark I said. My blood was boiling, I had to bite my tongue and just suffer through her complaining.
          On my drive home I thought about all of this; letting the entire day process through my mind. I realized I was one of those complainers only last week (I have only been in this position three days). The lady that talked with me let me down, but the thing that really got to me the most was I let myself down. I can see the both sides of the argument; the house-keepers have a lot they are expected to do. With two employees less than I am supposed to have, it is hard to accomplish everything. I have two older guys who do things their own way. I don’t care because the things I ask them to do get done. I have three Hispanic ladies; one of them has breast cancer and was in surgery two weeks ago. They all get the things done I ask them to do. All I can say is I am ashamed that I had not looked at their entire situation. I get it all now; I just wish they could all see it before they degrade the great people.

Dr.K

(Song: Let Me Down; Artist: Kelly Clarkson)

You Make Me Want to Listen to Music Again

          I have been writing an essay for school for the past 2 hours and I needed a break. What did I do with that break? I looked up my blog to see if anyone commented on what I posted yesterday and I got a friend of mine wanting me to talk about the things I like about me and others. The things I like about myself will probably come at a later post when I am in a conceded mood. But what I like about others is all in the post The Reason Why I Smile.            

        Music has always been a favorite thing of mine. It is my refuge when I have had a bad day. It tantalizes my senses when I am thinking about my crushes. It sets the mood for a good movie; I dance in my car and sing at the top of my lungs listening to the right songs, and my favorite thing to do is have it playing in the background as I study or work. People who know me personally know that I do love music. A lot of them come to me when they want a particular song because chances are, I will have it.
          One day as I was singing along with Kelly Clarkson in my car I had a great idea; I would pair up my favorite artists or songs! This is the list I have come up with:
          Kelly Clarkson and P!nk. They both have unique voices, but together they would accent each other. Kelly is singing about failed relationships and P!nk is just an angry singer. So together they would have a perfect song singing/yelling at an ex-boyfriend. Does that not sound like a good idea? Two other singers I would pair up for an awesome duet would be Adam Lambert and Lady GaGa. Their music styles are similar, but with the diversity of Lady GaGa and the modern 80’s style of voice Adam has would probably be an ambrosial sound. I would LOVE to hear them do a duet. I am not a big fan of country music but I think Faith Hill and Taylor Swift would make a good fun song together. Another duet I wanted to do was Josh Groban with someone, this was hard to think about for a little bit. But after a free download on iTunes and a new love for a rising artist I decided that Elizavita will be perfect for the part. Their voices will totally accent each other. A nearly perfect duet in my opinion.

          I have many songs that I like, and pairing them up with other songs that I like would not be a bad idea. Let me explain this a little bit because it is kind of confusing. When I say I would pair up the songs, I mean the two artists coming together to write a song with a combination of the two mentioned. It will be easier to get as I go along. First I would put the song Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin and the song You’re Not Alone by Saosin together. Not in a remix form, but I would love to have the two bands get together and write a duet with the musical accents of the two songs into one glorious mouthwatering display of musical instruments. Second is Something in the Water by Brooke Fraser and Sunrise by Norah Jones. Each has a nice playful sound and together I think the two artists could make something quite amazing! Third is Smile by Avril Lavigne and Give Your Heart a Break by Demi Lovato. I can’t explain why these two songs would have a great brain child but I think it would be worth listening to. Another would be Animal by Ke$ha and Hummingbird Heartbeat by Katy Perry. Each has elements that put me in a trance and I think those two together would not only bring out a great song, but it might push the boundaries of what is possible to see on a musical stage. Putting Katy Perry and Ke$ha together on stage is worse than Britney Spears and Madonna. But don’t think about that, it is the song I am lusting after. Now, together Kristina Maria’s song Play and Simon Curtis’ song Flesh would be an amazing artwork. Now keep in mind both of these songs have a lot of risqué lyrics, but it is the beat that I am talking about. I don’t get how I find the dirty songs, but somehow I find them, like them and about a month later I realize what the song is talking about. By then I am hooked. But that song would be one I would sing to in my car.

           Ok I think I have taken the idea of “song children” a little too far, but I LOVE music and I had to vocalize this a bit. I had to talk about it though because I do this a lot; these were just a few favorites that I have come up with!

Dr.K

(Song: Music Again, Artist: Adam Lambert)

If You Strip Me, Strip It All Away

         I have an image problem. I know I have mentioned things before. Mostly hints of things that I don’t like about myself, but I am going to verbalize many of them. Let’s start with my personality; I like to think that I get along with almost all people. But I have a confession, I don’t. I have issues with a group of people that is found in every society. I cannot stand arrogant personalities. I know I am not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but most of the time I can pick out really conceited people. I have actually caught myself putting these people down to mortalize them in my mind. Whether I am tearing them down on how they walk, or their imperfections; I catch myself putting them down. I have a friend who is one of these people. No offenses to all the wrestlers out there but all of them have an attitude like this. My friend walks with a strut, he knows everything about everything and everyone is in love with him. The bad thing about this is you should never tell an arrogant person you like them, because their head will soon look like the queen of hearts. When I notice someone with a large head I subconsciously start tearing them down to their face. It will all be done in a joking manor but I am serious with what I say. The best part about all of this is that they stay around me; maybe it is a good thing to do to help people stay grounded. This is not a quality I like too much about myself but it does exist.

         Spirituality is something I feel like is a weird issue, but it is something that I think about. I tear apart spiritual experiences. I am probably going to be back-handed by the Good Man by doing this. Sometimes I feel bad about doing it but when it comes to the LDS church I have to dissect and process things because theory becomes doctrine too quickly in some meetings. Here is an example: I was sitting in church last week and there was a guy who was giving a talk, and the way he said the prayer got under my skin a little bit. He had dramatic pauses and he had what I like to call The Spiritual Voice. This is when the individual lowers his voice to a lower tune, and quiets his speech. He pauses often to add an effect of “holiness” to what he is talking about. He talked about personal experiences from his mission, and he was a little farcical about them. I am possibly a little too laid back, but I have an issue with people who like to dramatize spiritual experiences to make them look special in some way. I have never had a huge awakening moment to know that God is real; it is by small and simple testimony builders that have solidified my belief in God. So when I sit in church and listen to an over-dramatic story telling of a spiritual experience I vomit a little bit in my mouth. I am not saying this to talk down a spiritual experience, but I feel like the people who express intimate spiritual experiences in this way are diminishing the importance of the experience. Or I dare say they are almost making a mockery of it all.

          Now to the most annoying things I think about myself. They are my physical features. I am really tall so I have bad blood circulation in my body, my hands and feet are always cold. That is one of the many reasons I prefer a warmer climate. When the circulation actually gets moving properly through my hands or feet I feel weird; my hands or feet will feel swollen and tight. Another thing I hate about myself is my round face, no explanation there because it is not a desired trait. Along with my round face I have an oddly shaped nose and a sharp chin with a flat head. I am thin and gangly, my eyes are not as green as I would like them and I cannot gain weight to save my life; I wish I could follow Kellan Lutz around for a week or a month and see what that guy eats in a day. Then I would imitate it and become an Abercrombie model. That would be totally awesome.

                That’s me in a nut-shell.  

 Dr.K

(Song: Strip Me, Artist: Natasha Bedingfield)

There’s Nothing Wrong with Loving Who You Are

                I had to laugh to myself when I found out there is a day totally set aside for gay’s to “come out.” But alas, today (October 11^th) is that day. When I realized this it got me thinking. I am not going to make this a very long post because I have talked about this before. I just have been really bothered with people lately; the crude things they say about each other. Racism has gotten a lot better, but people are still really racist, sometimes we even say things jokingly. Sadly I am guilty of this so I can’t say I am perfect. What is wrong with us? How does making fun of someone’s skin color make us cool? Or how does talking down to women make men superior? Or how does making fun of someone’s sexual preferences make your own problems better? Who says white is the better race? Or men are better than women?                  I think the core of our problem is in each group. I like the line in Mean Girls when Tina Fey says, “You all have got to stop calling yourselves whores and b***hes, because it only makes it ok for guys to call you whores and b***hes.” It is so true!

                We are advised to be who we are, or to be ourselves. If I see anyone being the butt end of a joke I feel like I need to stand up for the under-dog. I guess my personality of this comes from elementary school; I was teased and made fun of because I did not play any sports. I would hang out with the girls, and I still would rather hang out with girls. But I want everyone to know, I would not be the person I am today without those friends. The teasing was irritating at the time, and it still is when I think about it now. But I was just being me. There is nothing wrong with me. I was just not following the crowd by playing sports or doing idiotic things with other idiotic boys. I was not following tradition.

                After recently starting Twitter I have started following a certain musical star that is vocal about bullying. I did not know how vocal he was until now. I did not realize how bullying is still a large part of our society. But he said something today that I agree with. He said, “Parents are setting examples of discrimination and inequality. Starts with the grown-ups.” I guess that is where I learned to treat others the way you would like to be treated. We need to remember this:

 Someone is watching and that’s a fact,

Someone will copy the way you act.

So make this your motto and put it to use,

Be someone’s example and not their excuse.

Kids are watching everything we do. They imitate the things we do, in word and action. If someone uses this day to “come out” in anything, not just in the way gay’s mean it. We need to act, not react. Whatever it may be, treat each person as the individual they are. A child of God.

 Dr.K

(Song: Born This Way; Artist: Lady GaGa)

Eyes Wide Shut

            I have been thinking about a few different things to write about. Most of my current ideas are pretty raw right now so I think I will go back onto an idea that I see every day. There are many examples of this idea or concept. Have you ever been put onto a situation where something bad has happened, you are a witness but you did not say anything? Let me give an example:               One day I was working when a lady told me to keep an eye on someone she was helping because he may have stolen something. Because work was so boring this was exciting, let’s catch someone doing something they shouldn’t. To make a long story short, they guy did steal a pair of shorts. The store security ended up catching the guy so I had to write a statement, so did the lady who first noticed the guy. When I told her she needed to write a statement she complained and said, “Next time I am not telling anyone anything.” So just because it was a hassle to write a statement she is going to let the next person steal. Now, I doubt she will actually do that but it is the concept that is important.

               I have heard people complaining too many times about how the world is getting worse. Well here is the reason why. Because no one wants to be a tattle-tale, but the damage you are doing when you do not turn someone in for something they have done wrong is worse than telling on them.
              Let us look at the issue that planted the seed for this idea. There is a man in power, governmental power, who runs his county any way he wants. He is doing so many bad things to innocent people. Now when I say “bad” I mean firing people from their job or getting their educational certificates taken away just because they don’t agree with the way he runs things. When the issues are brought up to government officials over him, they just look the other way. They are allowing wrong things to happen. It is just a frustration to me when people do not stop wrong things before they get too far.

Dr.K

(Song: Sleepwalker, Artist: Adam Lambert)

I posted this last night, but something happened today that really emphasizes my point. I will again make a long story short; my mother and I (my Mom works in Hell, I mean, the store with me) and she sits in the camera room and catches people stealing. Well today she caught someone, but because there was no security officer in the store she had to call a manager. Do you think this idiot did anything? I personally watched this kid tear tags off a shirt, roll it up, and stuff it in his jacket. I mean, he could not have been more obvious what he was doing. Nothing happened. I want to say, Jared you are an idiot. Not only did you allow merchandise from your store to leave without being paid for, you are allowing this kid to get away with what he is doing, so he thinks it is fine. Next time he is going to take it a little further, maybe he will break into a car, or someone’s house. It always starts as the little things. Then gets worse and worse, then people complain that there are so many bad things happening in our society. In my opinion, if you see it happening and don’t do anything about it you are an advocate. Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving.

The Reason Why I Smile

                This is a spontaneous post. I really should be doing homework but this concept just randomly shot through my thoughts. Mainly because I was listening to Avril Lavigne’s song Smile. Then as I started to write this post I had many different titles come to mind, You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson or Obsession by Sky Ferreira. The reason I have told you this is because what this idea goes along with a lot of song lyrics.

                Have you ever had a friend, or a boyfriend/girlfriend who makes you smile? Not just because they make you laugh, but they put a grin on your face. There is no reason you are sitting there smiling at this person like a fat kid at a buffet. But just the fact that they are with you puts a smile on your face. I have even found myself smiling when I think about specific friends. Not just because they are funny, or they make me laugh, but I have a smile out of gratitude for the fact that I am friends with this person. This has only happened to me a couple of times. Surprisingly it was not only a potential lover but a really good friend. When this has happened I have been caught smiling creepily and staring at someone. That usually freaks people out so be careful.

                The reasoning I thought of the title You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson was because whenever I am having a bad day or feeling a little depressed (which happens too much lately) I text or call a friend like this. Usually when I get a reply a smile breaks across my face. I can’t help it. I could not sit here and tell you exactly what it is that causes me to react like this. You might be sitting there telling me that I have a crush on this individual. But I will tell you that’s not it because I have done this with people I am not attracted to, if you are smelling what I am stepping in. I hope your picking what I am putting down.

                Now the reason I was thinking about the title of Obsession by Sky Ferreira is because when this does happen with a crush, and I know you agree with me, you want that person to become obsessed with you. Don’t deny the fact that you are a crazy person and you want to be loved. Wait, we all want that too. And when you become nearly obsessed with this person you want the same in return. For example; I am seriously in love with Kelly Clarkson and I want the same obsession in return. Ok I am kidding but kind of serious at the same time.

                The reason I chose the title of The Reason Why I Smile is because it is from the song that gave me this idea. And it lays it out beautifully. I want to know what makes you smile with your friends, crush, or significant other. I will start: My friend John Tanner, I smile because he and I are total opposites, but totally alike at the same time. He does not care what anyone else says or thinks about him, he is a true individual. Which is something I love in people.  Kaitlin McKinlay makes me smile because of the kind love she shares with everyone, even random strangers (even the BUM’s on the street that propose her). There are not enough loving people in this world anymore.  Allysann McKinlay makes me smile because of all the funny things we have done together in the past, present, and even things we have yet to so together. It is always nice to have a friend who will push you out of an airplane for fun. Danielle McKinlay makes me smile because of our secret romance we have had since I was 12. You were my first love. Jeff Otero makes me smile because he is someone you can talk to and no matter what he says to you, you always leave the conversation a happier person. He is just magic that way. Becca Lindsay makes me smile because she is always a genuinely happy person, her happiness is contagious. We need a lot more contagious happiness in our lives. Kelsi Webb makes me smile because she makes a great effort to make sure everyone around her is content. She is full of inspirational thoughts and she does a great job cutting my hair. Kelsi, you are totally awesome! Torie Wake makes me smile because although all of the hard trials she has had recently in her life she laughs at everything. Literally, everything. Her smile just makes you smile too. Jenna Shirley makes me smile because of how honest she is. If I am doing something she does not approve of, she will make sure I know it, and then we laugh about it. Then we laugh about everyone around us too. Meaghan Morris makes me smile because of how caring she is. She makes sure everyone is included in everything. Not a single person is left out when Meaghan is around. Emily Norell makes me smile because she is one of the funniest people I know in this life. Whenever I need a good laugh, I think of things we did as dumb kids and that always puts me in a slap-happy mood. Reed Nelson makes me smile because he is always there for me when I need someone to talk to, even when I am in the most bitter of moods. Thanks Reed, for taking in my negativity and making it positive. Josh Garcia makes me smile because it does not matter how deeply depressed I am, or angry I am, he always lightens the mood and gets me joking and my mood ALWAYS makes a total 360. I don’t know how he does it but that is what happens. Joseph Latham makes me smile because he is always right. The only time he is wrong is when he is sexist. I smile because he was my best friend while I was in California. Miss T makes me smile because we started this bog together but I am the only one who writes on it. But she is a friend for me always. I could be the most hated person on the planet and she would be right there by my side, being hated along with me.

                I know I have named a lot of people here, but I also know I have not named everyone. All of my friends have made me smile. Spontaneous smiles are my favorite. I want to know who makes you smile!

Dr.K

(Song: Smile, Artist: Avril Lavigne)

It Starts With One

I have been thinking about this post for a few weeks. I have not had time sit down and write, but I have had lots of time to think. It all started a few weeks ago when the day could not possibly go right. I worked 11 hours straight, with an hour drive from my parent’s house, and another hour drive back home that night. So for 13 hours I had to deal with annoying customers, angry drivers and innocent animals in the middle of the road. While on my drive home that night I was thinking about something a friend told me; he said, “Something interesting about the scriptures is the different perspectives.” I was thinking about this when the song You Are Loved by Josh Groban began to play on my iPod. I sat there and had to let my thoughts mix together. Every person around me is going through something, whether they have had a bad day, a friend pass away, a breakup, maybe a surprise party. Whatever it is, everyone’s perspective and moods are different. This also makes everyone’s choices different according to their experiences and the events in their life.

                I have met a lot of people who have made poor decisions in their life, or what I believe to be poor decisions. At this point I have a crossroad, should I judge the person on their poor decision? Or should I try to help them out of the situation they are in? This is kind of an extreme example. Here is something that happened with my nephew, he is 5, he has been taught that smoking is bad for you; one day he was in the car with my sister and he saw someone smoking, he said, “Mom, that’s a bad man.” She had to correct him and say, “No, he is not a bad man.” My nephew is a simple example of judgment. How innocent it is for him, but the issue is if he grows up not being corrected the judgment only gets worse.

                In the society that I live in people are judged harshly on their outer appearances. Now I am not talking about how attractive they are or anything like that. What I am saying is if there is someone with a tattoo, body piercing, or even crazy hair styles people point and scoff at them. If someone does not fit the “Mormon” style they are almost considered an outcast. People have experienced different things, they may not believe what you believe but that does not make them a bad person. You should feel lucky that you have the beliefs you do, not hold yourself higher than them because of it.

                The main point of what I am trying to say is, you don’t know what people are struggling with, you don’t know what they have experienced in life and you don’t know what kind of person they are from the outside. I have a friend I met a few days ago. We actually have been chatting and texting for a while. We hung out a few nights ago. I consider this individual a BEST friend, just because we have been chatting and joking for so long. The thing that I love about this is he is someone I would have avoided. He has a tattoo on his left arm, piercings in his ears, and just seems a little wilder than I am. (Yes I know these are my judgments.) The thing is we have a lot of fun when we hang out. I would have let his physical appearances stop me from making an awesome friendship.

                Like I said before, I have been thinking about this for a while, and because of that I have tried it out. I have tried really hard not to make quick judgments about anyone. I feel free, I feel like talking to everyone has become simpler. If I start to judge someone in my head, I quickly try to think of something positive about the person, and then I tell them. It is always good to hear a compliment even if it is from a stranger. This world is too negative, we need to bring in more positive feelings, and judgment is not a positive feeling. Let the positive start with you.

Dr.K

(Song: Starts with One; Artist: Shiny Toy Guns)