Don’t Live a Lie This Is Your One Life

                Lately I have been thinking a lot about the new Lady GaGa cd because I like her music. Each time she is interviewed I watch the interview. Every time she is talked about in the news my ears perk up, and when she is on the cover of a magazine my eyes are drawn to it. One reason I like her is because she is a perfect example of sticking it to the man. Let me explain; I did not like middle school or high school, I was kind of an outcast. My close friends would not think so, but I was. I have always been the type of person who does what he is told. My parents said, “You are going to church.” And I would go. My friends would say, “That’s not cool.” And I would think it wasn’t cool either. Many people would say I am a follower, but I am not. I did not go along with everything my friends said. I stood up for the things I believed in when I found it necessary, and I lost friends because I did not do what they said. My point is, although I allowed myself to be molded by my surroundings, I still have a brain.

                I have an entire playlist on my iPod called You. Are. Awesome. I usually listen to this playlist when I am having a bad day or if I am little depressed. One day I decided to listen to it although I was in a really good mood. While listening I realized that a large number of the songs were about being who you are and who cares what people think, also the songs were about not letting anyone change you. As I thought about it I looked at myself and thought, “Am I who I am?” and it turns out… yes I am. Although I let things get to me and I try to change myself to fit standards that are around me, I am happy with the way I have allowed myself to be molded.

                I was talking with my Mom the other day about influential people. The #3 most influential person is Justin Bieber. I laughed when I heard that, he is really obnoxious. But I had to think about it, I guess he is a perfect example of following your dreams. I mean, I could just start videoing myself singing and pray that Usher or Simon Cowell see’s my video at some point right? I can kind of see it, but I still roll my eyes at the fact that he is an influential person. The #2 person actually shocked me, Oprah. Why is Oprah second? If anything I think she has done so much for so many people. I would have loved to win a car in her audience. I would have even loved seeing her interview someone boring because I am sure just being in her audience is mesmerizing. The #1 person was a shocker to me, Lady GaGa. I do like her a lot, and I do like that she feels like she can be whatever she wants to be. I would love to be an alien one day and a top model the next. My life would be my favorite holiday, Halloween. With the results of this I had to think about it too. Her next album is called Born This Way. Out of the few songs I have heard it sounds like her struggles with being accepted. She just wants to be something she wants you to love. She has stuck it to all those girls who made fun of her in school, she has showed the world that it does not matter how different you are, people will still love you. I think it is cool, but not influential to me.

                I don’t care what people do with their lives. As long as they don’t try to force their actions on me or try to persuade me to alter my beliefs, I usually am alright. I have a lot of friends who I don’t agree with the way they live their lives, but I love them anyways. I have family who does not live the way I want them to, but I love them anyways. The reason I am doing this post is because I would like to add my voice to all those out there who have said “Be who you want to be.” I agree. I am a person who follows the law, I have always followed the rules and I am still happy with the person I am today. Even with all my insecurities, I am still a happy person. You do not have to be unique to be the person you want to be.

P.S. Oprah, I will miss the time we had together. All the fake tears I shed while watching your show. And I will miss the times that you changed my life in the most disturbing ways. All I can say is, I guess I will watch the Oprah Winfrey Network if I want a nostalgic moment.

Dr.K

(Song: Liberty Walk, Artist: Miley Cyrus)

Here for Your Entertainment

              One of my all-time favorite past times is people watching. I KNOW this is a favorite past time for a lot of people in this world. I actually do it to compare myself with others. Not a good thing I know, but I do it anyways. One of my favorite stories is one from when I was living in California. I was walking down the street, not really paying attention, when I hear someone screaming. At first I thought it could have been someone in distress. But it was not, it was actually a guy yelling at nothing. The people around him just briefly looked and then looked away as if it was a normal thing. But I was hooked. What was this guy yelling at? He was saying “GET AWAY FROM ME!” but there was no one there. This is a time when I really remember thinking how interesting it was to watch people.

                Although that event grabbed my attention, I intentionally watch people when they don’t think they are being watched. I know it sounds creepy, but it is very entertaining. Little kids are always funny. My nephew is always fighting bad guys when we are at the store, and I have seen little girls before playing with imaginary friends in the checkout line at the store. Kids don’t usually care about too much in life, and making a fool of themselves in public is one of those things. My favorite and most entertaining ages to watch is the age group of 13-26ish people, specifically the male gender. Let me explain; in middle school it is a time for this age group to change from ‘baby’ to ‘teenager’ and sometimes this change can be humorous. Then you get the high school aged kids (yes, they are still kids) and they are stuck between the title of ‘teenager’ and ‘adult.’ This is usually my favorite age to watch because the know-it-all teenagers don’t know much at all.

                My favorite gender to watch is boys. They are all the same, even when they think they are different. I was at work a few months ago when a kid came in to meet up with his friends, this kid had a defined strut, a look of self-approval, and his clothes told me he was trying to grab some attention. He was dressed nice, but all of his clothes said either ‘Hollister’ or ‘Abercrombie’ on them. Now, I too wear these clothes sometimes. So I am not saying it is a bad thing. But he was very proud that he spent a fortune on a shirt I could have gotten for about $5. These few things grabbed my attention, I had to watch. He definitely thought highly of himself, he would even do the ‘half smile’ because he was too cool to show his teeth when laughing at a joke. When he left with his friends a few minutes later, he walked out with his same defined strut and his hoodie halfway on his head to look cool. As he walked out of that store, all I could think was “Guys are very strange.”

                After that happened I decided that I would focus my people watching skills on guys, specifically high school age guys. Let me switch subjects for a little bit; we all want to be noticed, I sure do. People want to be accepted in this world, some people even want to just stand out. Some people want to blend in and some people want to go against the grain. But we all actually follow each other. Take high school for example; I hated high school, I tried to stay hidden, it worked for the most part. But there comes a time when a guy feels like he needs to impress his peers, especially girls. So he conforms to the life of expensive clothing, excessive exercise, joining some sport just to be labeled a jock. I did not do that myself, but I have conformed to the clothing thing, I do like to wear nice clothes. What is funny about this whole thing is, even years after high school you can tell who these people are. I was shopping with a good friend of mine and her husband this past week, and we decided to go into Abercrombie & Fitch. There were greeters at the doors. Both of the guys there were a perfect example of how men don’t grow up. Superficial is the best way to describe them. If you have seen the movie or read the book Beastly then you will understand what I am trying to get across. Life, to them, is all about getting laid or getting rich. I wish I could say that guys grow out of this… sorry, they don’t.

                I have a friend I met in California who is a lot like this. What is annoying about him is no matter what it is, he is an expert. Unfortunately, he is really good at everything too. Some people are just gifted that way. But the real annoyance is the fact that he has kind of a dull personality, but everyone we met loved him right off. He could have just sat through the whole conversation with someone and not said a word, but the person we were visiting with fell in love with him. I guess you can call it jealousy; he does not have to try to get people to like him. When I, on the other hand, have to hang around a person for hours before they really get to know who I am and they like me. Or they say they like me…

                I am not exactly sure why I wrote this post, maybe I am just throwing down some observations I have made. I think it would be nice to have people look around and see what type of person they are. Are you superficial? Are you eccentric? Are you conceded? Or maybe you’re depressed, or you have low self-esteem, or maybe you’re just happy being the way you are. To me it does not matter because if you become a victim of my game, I will always laugh at you. People do the dumbest things, so just be happy with who you are and remember you can always have the last laugh, because people who put themselves on a pedestal are asking for the criticism.

Dr.K

(Song: For Your Entertainment , Artist: Adam Lambert)

You Make Me So Hot

A little over a year ago I was introduced to a concept that I had always kind of done, but never put it in words because of embarrassment. A good friend of mine is very into nostalgic fashion and even the lifestyle. I was talking to her the other night and she wants dating to be like it used to because you go out and have fun, you don’t have to worry about whether you like your date, or if your date likes you. Just go out and have fun. I think all of her black and white movie watching has made a good point. Getting back to the main topic, she loves a particular woman who lived in the era that she idolizes. This woman’s name is Ginger Rogers. I did not know who Ginger was until I looked her up. That is not the point, the point is that when my friend was explaining Ginger to me she called her a “Girl Crush.” I laughed at the phrase, but let’s face it everyone has a crush on someone of the same gender. My sister has a crush on Jillian Michaels. Now is it so weird that I am now going to confess my guy crushes? I thought that if I am going to admit the love that I have for some of the women in Hollywood, I think I will even out the field and tell you who some of the guys I respect are.

                These are in no particular order. So I would like to start with Adam Lambert. Many people do not like me very much at this point. I have a friend who dies a little bit inside when she hears me talk about him so I think an explanation is necessary. I did not watch the season he was on American Idol. I did not know who he was until it hit headlines that he was gay and had his own makeup called Guy-liner I thought that was a little bizarre for a guy, but I admit that I had respect for him because he was breaking out of the norm. He was being who he wanted to be and did not care what other people think about it. Now, with that said, I think sometimes he does do things to almost force his lifestyle on others. But no one is perfect. Another reason I like him is because I think he is a really good singer. While living in California I had asked a few people about his music. I was a little interested because so many people I know did not like him. When that happens it makes me want to know the person more, I am the type of person who likes to go against the grain. If the majority of people like something a lot (like the band Muse) I tend to stay away from it. It is a subconscious thing I do. So I was interested in Adam Lambert because of so many people disliking him. When I finally heard one of his songs, I liked it. I then went out and bought the album For Your Entertainment. It is the most listened to album on my iPod.

Next is Ryan Reynolds. When my friend was bugging me about admitting who my guy crushes were I think I talked about him first. The reason I like him so much is because his acting is diverse; horror, action, and comedy are the movies that I like him in. A funny thing happened a few months after I told my friend this, he was voted the sexiest man alive for People Magazine 2010. So I think I made a good choice. He is just an overall likable person, not that I have met him personally, but from a viewer’s standpoint I like him.

                Another is Josh Groban. My liking for Josh has always existed. I would give up my first born child to have a voice like his. Actually I will give away all my kids to have a voice like his. (I don’t really like kids so that won’t be a problem). That is the main reason I like him, and I really like his song You Are Loved. But those are just about the only reasons. My friend who was interested in this topic has a mother who is in Love with Josh. One of her daughters made a joke to her and said, “Mom you would leave Dad to marry Josh, wouldn’t you.” And she did not deny it. With that said, I feel like I do not need to say anything more. He is loved by everyone, even Oprah and her mindless followers.

Chris Evans is another. He is actually not that good of an actor. He was in Fantastic 4, Cellular, and Push. I think Push was a good movie. Reasons why I like him are… well… I don’t have any reasons actually. I just like him.

My next person is someone who I found to be annoying when I first saw him, but he grew on me while I watched Wizards of Waverly Place. I would stare at Selena’s face the whole time and think to myself, “Why were you not at my high school? We would have gotten along very well.” But not every scene has her in it. I like her co-star David Henrie. He is a perfect Disney channel star, over the top with his acting, and kind of lame. But I just like him… I think need to just name off the guys I like because there are too many that don’t have explanations; Hugh Jackman, Shia LaBeouf, Julian McMahon, Ewan McGregor, David Spade, Hayden Christensen, Sam Worthington, Alex Pettyfer and John Krasinski. There are more but those are the ones coming to my mind.

Now that you all have had a glimpse into my head, I think you might want to shower or something. My mind is complicated and a lot of the time there is no reason to why I like or hate things. So if you ask why I like a specific person, and I don’t have a reason I will say, “Because…” and that is the extent of my answer.

Dr.K

 (Song: Hot, Artist: Avril Lavigne)

My Life Would Suck Without You

                Today is a day for us to reflect on the love our Mothers gave to us, and tell them how much we appreciate the love they have given us. I would like to take this time to tell you a little about my own Mom. Her life has not been easy, no one has had an easy life, but some of the things she has had to deal with are rare. At the age of 14 she lost her father to bleeding ulcers. I think back on when I was 14 I could not have handled something like that. She is the third child of five her youngest brother was not old enough to realize what had happened at the time. Over the next couple years she graduated from high school and was planning on marrying her sweetheart (my Dad). A year after graduating she then lost her Mother to breast cancer. Losing both of her parents at a young age made her a strong person. I love that quality in her.

                Over the past few years my mother has had to deal with a lot of other hardships. From my Father losing his job because of jealousy, having three children betray her and blame their problems on her, and losing her closest friends because of reasons unknown. She has had to rely on the few close relationships that she has. One of those relationships is one I envy. That is a personal relationship with Christ. Through all of the different tragedies in her life she has always kept that bond strong. She is a person who lives what she preaches.

                To all Mothers out there, you are loved and appreciated, even if your children may not vocalize it. My Mother is one of my best friends, and will always be a Hero I look up to.

Dr.K

(Song: My Life Would Suck Without You; Artist: Kelly Clarkson)

You’re So Hypnotizing

Since my love life has come to a sudden stop. I like to reflect on the beautiful women in my life. I have a friend who told me I have too many crushes, but let me tell you something; there is no such thing as too many crushes. If I could throw together a group of beautiful people I would easily do it in less than an hour. I think I might actually do that one day, so look forward to that post. But as of right now I would like to talk about my top 5 crushes. These women are single, so if I ever met them I would want to ask them out. I can easily talk to women, but for some strange reason it is hard for me to talk to the ones I like. I guess it is the whole “trying to impress her” thing that kicks in. Now that I have said that, if I ever meet any of these women I will ask them out, and I am sure the answer will be “No” because, let’s face it, they can’t handle this much of a good thing.

My #5 crush is Brooke Fraser. She is not a well-known singer, I actually came across her music accidentally, but since I heard her sing I have been addicted to her sweet serenade. I guess she is from New Zealand and was turned into an American artist, Not only is she very attractive, but she is freaking amazing. Her 2^nd album is titled “Albertine” because of a girl she met in Africa. The entire album is dedicated to all the things she learned while serving there. This is a clip from the CD cover:

In 1994, the tiny Central-East African nation of Rwanda was devastated by genocide. Almost one million Rwandans were killed at the hands of their neighbors, friends and community leaders within the short space of 100 days…the catastrophic outcome of decades of tension and fighting between two ethnic groups – the Hutus and the Tutsis – a conflict that did not exist before Belgian colonists moved in during the first part of the 20th century and introduced an alien politician divide.

My first visit to Rwanda occurred in June 2005, eleven years on from the atrocities. I visited local authorities, churches, schools, official memorials and living ones: child-headed households and communities living with AIDS, facing life without adequate medical care or basics like clean water. I met a people who are humble, joyous, diligent and in deep pain.

One day before I was to fly out and onto Tanzania, my friend and guide Joel Nsengiyumva took me to a village school in a district called Kabuga. He wanted me to see that Rwanda had hope – and no better way to see it than in the next generation. The kids and I exchanged songs and dances, and as things wrapped up and we were about to leave, Joel asked if we could take a few minutes and meet with an orphan whose personal history he was familiar with.

Throughout the trip Joel had introduced me to people as a musician from the other side of the world who was going to go back to my people, tell them about the people of Rwanda and help. No pressure. That afternoon we walked across the schoolyard into an empty classroom, joined by a tall, beautiful girl wearing the school’s cobalt and navy garb, where Joel’s introduction was about to become a kind of commission.

Just before he shared her story with me, that of one person laying down their life for another, he uttered these words:

“You must go back to your people and you must write a song,
and I will tell you what the name of the song is going to be.”

He motioned toward the girl.

“This is Albertine.”

Albertine is alive today because of the selfless, sacrificial love of another. Funny thing is, so am I. And now I want to know what it’s like to love other people like that, so have decided to spend my whole life on the experiment.

Feel free to join me. We might just change the world.

Let’s introduce crush #4 Selena Gomez. I know how many people hate Disney Channel stars, because I am one of them. But there is something that I really like about Selena. I have a confession to make, I watch wizards of Waverly Place just to stare at her face. I have another confession; I listen to her music just to listen to her voice. Is that something a stalker would do? I guess I don’t consider it stalking because she is famous. But I know I am a little creepy about it.

I have mentioned how I like the woman behind door #3 in earlier posts. Dianna Argon, the Glee star. I don’t watch l Glee, but if I did it would be to stare at her face. I do like watching I Am Number Four, but it is not just because of her. I actually kind of think her character is a little annoying at times. But not anything I can look over because of my love for her. She is on the cover of a recent magazine, and when I am at work I walk slowly past the magazine stand just to see her. I actually liked a girl because she looked slightly like Dianna Argon. But that whole scenario did not work out. That’s ok, life moves on and I would still ask her out if I met her, I am bound to meet one of my Hollywood crushes at some point right?

I have had a love for woman #2 for a LONG time. Kelly Clarkson steals my heart every time I hear her voice. Her story is funny actually, I was watching the first season of American Idol with some of my good friends, and they kept saying, “I want him to win.” Or “I want her to win.” But I just sat there and was enjoying the show. Then my friends wanted my input on who I wanted to win. So I kept my ears and eyes open, and when Kelly Clarkson came on I said, “I want her to win.” Then I stopped watching the stupid show and next thing I know she won. I decided to buy each of her albums and now I own all of them, with the exemption of Thankful. I fall in love with her each time a song of hers comes playing on my iPod. Another story about her is; while I was living in California my father (who is a police officer) was patrolling the stadium she was performing at. He actually got to escort her onto the field. She said, “Thank You” then shook each of the officer’s hands. When I found out I almost died inside. I could have met her that night. Maybe have taken her on a date the next evening and we would be married with 2 kids by now. What are the chances that my dad, who could care less about the girl, got to meet her? That is the story of my life.

The woman I have as #1 is fairly recent. I did not know she even existed until I was watching some of the highlights of the royal wedding on TV. Pippa Middleton is just as gorgeous as her sister, and two years younger. Now there would be a 5 year difference, but who cares when you are in love. The other bonus is that her sister will one day be the Queen of England. At this point I could care less about that. Her sister could be the world’s biggest prostitute and I would still marry Pippa. Let’s just hope her parents can handle her dating and marrying a poor, young, American.

Now that you all know my top 5 crushes on single women, I think this should show you what type of girl I am looking for. If I can’t have Kelly Clarkson or Pippa Middleton, I think I’ll just live the rest of my life alone.

Dr.K

(Song: E.T.; Artist: Katy Perry)

You’re All I Want

                I will finish with the continuation of the past blog in the near future. But something has me a little bothered; I just got back from a mild drive home. I was able to spend the day with some built in friends; my cousins. We had a lot of fun going from one sugar high to another. And I guess the drive back home is when I crashed. I had some time to think about the place where my life is right now. I took my parents to the airport this morning where they started a week’s vacation, meaning I will be home alone for a week. That is actually really exciting, when you live near civilization. But unfortunately I do not, so I have the lucky opportunity to sit at home and do nothing after work.

                The first thing I thought of was, ‘Who can I call to come and visit?’ no one came to mind because they all live too far away. I then thought of family members, and that is where the depression really set in. I have four siblings, two older and two younger. The only person who would want to do something with me would be my older sister. But she lives a little over an hour away. My older brother and I do not get along for who knows what reasons. I suppose I “offended” him in some way. Then my younger brother lives in California with his wife as he is in the military, and I have not spoken to him in an actual conversation in over a year. Then I have the last person who has really killed my liking for my family, my younger sister. She is the closest living relative, but she too has a problem with me, for reasons unknown to me. At this point I began to feel isolated.

                I have not been a very good friend, but let me explain why. I have a group of friends that I really enjoy talking with and I consider them better family than my own flesh and blood. Because my life is so boring and monotonous our phone calls have become less and less often. The last time I really talked to a good friend about real stuff was over a month ago. When I call to talk to someone I do not want the conversation to be dead. I want to be able to tell them something, and I want to hear what they have to say about their life. My problem is that I am insecure about the way my life is right now, living with my parents and not dating and enjoying life. People are always saying this is the fun time of my life, well if this is the fun time of my life I have nothing to look forward to. With those insecurities I have pushed my friends away because I don’t like hearing how they are having so much fun making new friends in college or they are very busy finishing their degree. I look at my life and say, “wow, you really are a loser when the highlight of your day is getting excited because the only person who is happy to see you in your dog.”

                I do not want people to have sympathy for me; I really have done this to myself. Another reason I don’t talk to a lot to my good friends is because I complain. I do not want them to have to deal with all my complaints, because I complain a lot. When I complain I get answers like, “Just wait, it will all get better.” Or something like, “Everyone goes through lows like this.” I don’t like these answers because I understand the concept, but how long do these ‘lows’ last? Years? Months? Someone might say I am depressed, but I am not. I have fun and I am blessed to have the life that I have. The grass just seems to be greener on the other side. I guess being broken inside like this just brings us to a closer relationship with the one who loves us more than we can even imagine.

                Now tying the past couple posts together I want to say, it would be nice to have someone close to talk to. I want to have a relationship where I can laugh and have fun, joke around and pick on each other, be a person the other can call under any circumstance, and vice versa. I want to have someone who will sympathize with me and love me enough to just let me vent. A real relationship that I want to last forever is one that is based on emotional and spiritual attraction. Not only physical attraction. But a good strong person I can lean on when I need it, and I will be her strong person to lean on when she needs it. That is all I want.

Dr.K

(Song: Everything; Artist: Lifehouse)

Vanity

I will be the first to admit that I am vain. I am always making sure I look good, making sure that my posture it great. If one hair falls out of place, I have a break down. Not really but I just get annoyed and move on. I need to be dressed in clothes that are clean and have no creases. I look in mirrors at the mall to make sure I still look good. I even look at my reflection in the glass at school when it is dark outside to see what I need to change about my posture or the way I walk. Some of my friends might not think that I am this conceded, but I don’t verbalize it like a lot of other people. I guess that is why I cannot stand being around conceded people, they verbalize the things that don’t matter, when I just think them. I hate the fact that I am vain and I think it is a quality that I need to work on. This is important for you to understand a little of this so you can get why I still have not had my first kiss.

                Let’s take a little journey back to high school. This is a time in my life that I do not like to reflect on because I was not a social person. I try to get along with people and I am told that I am a likable person, but not the type of person you would want to date, or be best friends with. I am just a “nice” person. Looking back into this time, I was not a typical senior; I hated every moment in school. When there were assemblies or school function I avoided them at all costs. I would go home and watch T.V. while everyone watched the talent show, or were at the pep rallies. Needless to say I wanted to blend in with the walls in school. All of this started in middle school, mostly dumb kids being jerks, but it evolved into me not wanting to talk or look at just about anyone. I would even avoid friends at times I just did not want to be known. Well, the last semester of senior year I took an internship class. I was looking forward to this because I would be spending time away from school, for school. There were some days when we would have class and I loathed those days. The class was filled with dumb jocks (some I knew from my neighborhood) also student council members, and a few drama geeks. I soon became a person of interest to them. The very first comment to me when we were supposed to be getting to know each other was, “You’re really skinny” I wanted to scream THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! But I just sat there uncomfortably as the group we were put into was staring at my skinniness. At that point I wanted to go live in a cave and hope that I got fat.

                Shortly after graduation my family was in the process of building a new home about an hour away from there in the middle of nowhere. I thought about it and decided to try and make a change in my attitude and even my appearance. I started working out and being friendlier with people I worked with and I tried to become a more reliable friend. A few weeks before we were about to move into the new home I moved to California. While I was out there, people also stated the obvious, “You are freakishly tall.” “You are really skinny.” “What it this boil looking thing on your wrist?” “It is my bones… thanks for pointing that out.” So I was still facing the fact that I looked anorexic, the fact that I am really tall does not help either. I am not bothered by my tallness it is the skinniness that is what bothers me. I just look a lot skinnier than I am because of my height.

                While I was in California I gained a little weight, about 15 Lbs. I wanted to use that to my advantage and exercise turning that extra weight into muscle. But do you think that any of this worked? No it did not. After I moved back into my parent’s house I decided to make a strict work out plan. (Which I just started again today) I even went to the gym and I got some interesting looks from the jocks and meat heads in there. Ok, so I am skinny, I want to be able to protect myself if the occasion arises, sue me.

                Once I was living at home again, it is a new area, (which I looked forward to) and I still get the comment “You are really skinny.” Ok I am tired of hearing that. That is when I really decided to become more flattering in the way I dress. If the big strong arms were not going to help me get a date, maybe if I know how to dress will get me a date. Since all my friends are girls, I know girls like it when a guy knows how to dress. So I took up the expensive hobby. That is where this creature was born. I make sure my hair is cut into a specific way, my facial hair is trimmed to perfection (in my terms) and I try to be the focal point everywhere I go now. I still face the stupid comment of “You have really skinny arms” but at least I look dashing with my small arms.

                Well, it may seem that I am over the fact that I am not overly muscular. Nope, I am not. I still get depressed when I see that with all the working out I do there is little to no progression. I glanced at myself in the glass at school with the night sky behind it and saw how skinny I was. It is a confidence killer when the time comes to asking a girl out. There I stand skinner than the girl, trying to ask her out on a date. She says ‘yes’ because I am sure she feels bad for me, but nothing comes of the date.

                Remember, I know what girls are looking for; most girls want a guy who can protect them if something goes wrong. And they want to be able to feel safe in a guy’s arms. I want just a little difference to tell me it is all working! I was telling this to a friend a few months ago, and she told me there is a difference, I just can’t see it because it is slow and gradual. But I have been looking at pictures and nothing has changed much, maybe a little change, but not anything to get excited over.

To be continued….

Dr.K

(Song: Vanity. Artist: Hanover Swain)