It’s The Choices That Make Us Who We Are

                For a few months I have been thinking about this post. Mainly because it is a touchy subject among many people and I had to make a choice of I wanted to say. With having said that I want you, the reader, to have a neutral thought as you read this post. Because I have thought about it for so long I have become a little passionate about the thoughts here:
               As long as I can remember, my mother has always had the thought (which was ingrained in me since I was little) that you need to do unto other as you would want them to do to you. Whenever my siblings and I would fight and hurt each other she would always say; “would you want them doing that to you? Put yourself in their shoes.” And that is something I have lived by for as long as I can remember. Put yourself in their shoes.
       I was talking with a friend of mine at work, and this subject came up. My friend is getting married in November; she has 10 bridesmaids and 1 man of honor. I had to think about that for a second… a man of honor? So I asked her about that. Her best friend is gay, and she wanted him in her wedding. That is different for me but it should be interesting. Later I asked her how long she has known her friend was gay. What she told me is that he has the personality that was obvious to people in high school but he did not actually tell anyone until after he graduated. During high school he was made fun of and scrutinized for the assumption of others. I am not one to sit here and tell you that you need to accept gay people, but have a respect for them. They have different struggles in life and they are dealing with them. I don’t see people out saying they hate alcoholics, so why do ‘normal’ people hate gay people? I will tell you why, because for a lot of people it is out of the norm or it is gross to them, but for the majority of them that hate gay people, it’s because of their religion. In Utah that is a large reason why. But I have studied my religion and I can tell you it does NOT say anywhere that we need to hate gays. What it says is that it is not in accordance with God’s laws. But it does NOT say you are to hate them. Put yourself in their shoes.

                I have never had a real opinion on this subject until I lived in California. I guess you can say my views were changes in a liberal way. I was living there during proposition 8. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it is the proposition to legalize gay marriage. I have heard fighting words from both sides of the conflict. I was one who would have voted yes on proposition 8 (yes meaning yes make gay marriage illegal) but my reasons are personal and I will keep them to myself. But because I picked a side I don’t want anyone to think I did not hear both sides of the argument. And when I made my decision I had to put myself in the shoes of both sides of the proposition. I understand both pleas, but my decision is solid.

                At work yesterday, through all my busy-ness, I happened to notice two guys come into the store. With the way they were acting I could tell they felt a little uncomfortable I still greeted them and the woman they were with. As I helped them the realization that this was a gay couple became prominent really quick. Here they are in Provo Utah; I can understand why they seemed a little uncomfortable. I still helped them and treated them like any customer. If anything I treated them better than any customer to make up for the harshness of others around.  They returned the friendliness, and it was not the flirting kind. A lot of guys are freaked out when a gay guy hits on them, but all you have to do is kindly tell them that you don’t swing that way and it does not have to be awkward at all. After these guys left I was talking with Logan, a guy I work with, and whenever we notice something out of the norm we tell each other. And I asked if he could tell the sexuality of the guys I was helping. He said yes, and then he said, “I don’t agree with the way they are living their life, but I have to say that gay people are some of the most kind people you will ever meet.” And I have to agree with him.

                The idea of making this post started after I read a friends blog. My friend was openly gay before he joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (The Mormon church). Since he joined life has been interesting. I want him to know that he is one of the greatest people I know. Once you read his blog, you can’t help but agree with me. He told me about his blog just after I started the Bitter Critic and I have been hooked on every post ever since. Since reading the blog it has made it easier to put myself in his shoes. I can see how he struggles in his life, how he tries to do what he is asked while he has such a strong temptation to go away from his newly grown faith in Christ. I recommend everyone clicking on the link at the bottom of this post and read his blog, starting at the oldest post first (that post is January 2, 2011). It will make sense if you read it that way.

                I am always thinking about what life would be like in someone else’s shoes. The most common type of person is someone who is rich and has just about everything, and also another common one is living the life with the temptations of a homosexual. I think that people don’t have to agree with what they are doing, but have some respect for them as a human being. I wrote about a similar thing in my post titled; If you’re a Strong Female You Don’t Need Permission. I try to have respect for others around me. Remember to put yourself in their shoes…

Dr.K

(Song: Unwinding Cable Car, Artist: Anberlin)

The Liberty Crusades: Genesis, Part One...:

It’s Always All about You

I had an epiphany this evening at work. The store was closing and I was counting registers when a guy comes in and asks for me to help him find a power tie. (I work in the dress shirts and tie department) so we walk around trying to find a tie to fit the description he was looking for. After that he wanted a tie pin, he like 5 of them so he purchased all 5. He also needed a white shirt. So he bought 2 of them (I had to take his measurements; neck and arms. During the measuring I could smell alcohol on him). Also he got a sports jacket for him and his friend. Then he needed shoes. So he looked and got a pair of shoes. After that he wanted something casual to wear around the pool, so I picked that out too. His friend got a sports jacket and a tie. His total purchase came to over $1000 and he was acting like that was chump change.

                The realization I came to was how I never wanted to be like that. Humility was not his strong point at all. He was very friendly, but he was acting like he was better than everyone else. Money is not something he worried about. As I was helping him he introduced me to his body guard who was packing heat (he had a gun). Not sure why he told me this, I could have cared less. All I wanted was for him to keep his distance. (For some reason buzzed or drunk people like to invade my bubble) after all was found, purchased, and then they were finally were leaving the store. I walked them out and it was very strange to see how everyone who was with this guy was circled around him walking him out. They treated him like royalty.

                On my way home I was really energetic because of the AMAZING sale I had done that day (just to give you an idea, I am supposed to make about $900 a day in my department. That’s for the whole day, so this 20 minute shopper was a good sale). But as I was thinking about him, I thought; “I never want to be like that.”

                There is another customer we had in the store just a few days before, a man by the name of Jeffery Holland. He was friendly with everyone, just like this other guy, but the difference in the way they presented themselves is like night and day. This guy was swearing and throwing around his authority. But Elder Holland on the other hand was respectful of the people around him, and he was humble about the responsibilities he has been given. This other individual was boastful about his duties and the things he has done in life.

                I have talked about vanity before, and it is something that might kill me. But after comparing the two tonight, Elder Holland is the best good example, and this other guy is the fear of what I might become. Perhaps this was a warning sign from God to show me what could happen to me if I continue in the prideful way I have been viewing myself.

Dr.K

(Song: Dignity, Artist: Hilary Duff)

I Can’t Sing the Blues Anymore

After returning home from California I came back to a few of my friends getting married. That’s not a problem for me, I am really happy for them that they are progressing through life. For me, I am going to take my time; first of all I am not fond of kids. I like my nieces and nephews but after about 20 minutes I want to barricade myself in my room and have my own personal time. Another thing that is making me stray away from marriage early in my life is I am in a selfish time in my life. I was talking with a girl I work with about life. She was amazed when I told her my first concert was Thirty Seconds to Marz about a year ago. She was also amazed that in my entire life I have only been to one house party… and even then I only stayed like 5 minutes. Needless to say she told me that I should date a lot of girls and experience life before I settle down, otherwise I will want to do it after I am married.

                Thinking about this I have decided that she is somewhat right. I have not really done anything in life. I don’t have cool stories of partying it up on the beach with my closest friends. Or a cool road trip I took right after high school. I don’t even have a first kiss story. My life is kind of pathetic. So as I watch my friends go off and have fun being married, I sit at home like an old maid and read novels or clean my room or watch movies. What a great life for me. Kristen is right, I need to get out and experience life.

                Since I have been home, after living in California, I have had a stagnant life. No progression. I have worked my butt of eating till it hurts and working out so I can get a good physique, has it paid off? Kind of, I have asked out a few girls but for some reason I find the girls who are not reliable at all. The only thing I have accomplished while living with my parents is my generals are almost finished in school, and I have read a few good books. That is all I have to show for anything? Then I have friends who call me and we talk forever about how great their life is and when it comes to me I complain. Then they roll their eyes and say, “It will all get better soon!” and that’s the end of it. The frequency of my conversations with friends have dwindled because I don’t want to be “The Complainer.” This has burned more bridges than I wanted. And now here I am complaining about my life, again, on the blog. The whole reason I started this thing was to complain about the world, and throw in some sarcastic things about dumb people. Maybe I will try that again in the future.

                To those friends who are married and reading this; Your all still my best friends, you are at a different point in your life, don’t look down on me for not progressing as fast as you. To my friends who are not married but out enjoying life like a college student near graduation should; please don’t feel pity on me because you were here once. All I want is a good friend to vent to every once in a while. Most people will talk to an older brother or sister about things like this. My sister and I will talk but she gives me the same responses that my mom would give. Its good information, but sometimes moms answers are not the ones you want to hear. My older brother and I have not had a real conversation in years, and both my younger siblings do not care for me at all. With bridges I have been burning with friends and a family that despises me, my emotions and issues have been getting stacked on top of each other layer by layer. I have now reached a point in my life I never wanted to return to. I am imploding on myself, talking to an imaginary person over the computer (this blog).

                I need a break. I need a break from caring when a good friend ditched me and did OUR traditions without me. I need a break from worrying about finding a girlfriend who will potentially be my wife. I need a break from the stress of being a perfect person. I need a break from all the worries of finishing school before I am too old. I need a break from this life that I am puttering through.

Dr.K

(Song: You Can Close Your Eyes, Artist: Brooke Fraser feat. William Fitzsimmons)