Love, Where is Your Fire?

What is Love? I have been thinking about this for a while. What are the things that make up the emotion of love? Is it just a phrase said to keep your friends close? In my family we don’t express that we love each other too often. It’s not that we don’t care for each other; we just don’t say “I love you.” So naturally because of that I have grown to understandings that some words have more power than others when you use them correctly. I have said it before to friends. But I said it in a meaning of ‘you guys are my best friends and it would be hard to live without you guys.’ But what does it really mean? Yes it would be hard to live without them and I would miss them, but I would not shrivel up and die if they were gone.

The dictionary says many things but the first one I think of when I think of ‘Love’ is “Have a great affection or liking for.” I have figured this is most likely what most people think as well. I have felt a great liking for a lot of things and people. About two years ago I saw my dog get hit by a car right in front of my eyes. When she died in my arms on the way to the vet office I cried. But I cried out of sadness for not being able to see her or play with her again. I was being selfish in a way. I have been taught that we will see our family and friends again and I consider my dog to be a part of the family, so I was relieved to rely on my beliefs that I will see her again. Yes it was a sad time to watch her go and I miss her all the time but is that love? To me that is missing something you had and looking forward to seeing that something again. Not necessarily ‘Love.’

Another definition is “Sexual activities between two people.” To me that is lust. Our bodies have a natural physical drive and often times I hear people say “Don’t get confused between Love and Lust.” But from my point of view that happens a lot. I see many people around me get married at young ages (like 18-21) and I wonder if they are infatuated with each other because of lust or if they truly will do anything for the other person. they may say they would but actions speak louder than words. In my personal opinion I think that is too young of an age to judge between Love and raging hormones. Can someone ‘Love’ someone because of lust? To the point that they will do anything for them because they lust them so much? I believe that is so but that will lead to many other bad qualities in an individual. I watched a movie about this the other night. A woman fell out of love with her husband and was lusting after another man. She eventually “fell in love” with him. But at the end she was so paranoid that the man she now loved was cheating on her she committed suicide. That is not love to me. That is a vice. So what is Love? Is it a liking for something? Is it a lust for something? Or is it a combination of the two?

“Any object of warm affection or devotion” is probably the most common way that people show Love in their life. Doing things you find enjoyable. I have a love for reading and so I do it when I can because I enjoy it. But that would bring us back to liking something. You like something so much you enjoy doing it. You like someone so much you enjoy being with them. But I have enjoyed another’s company without loving them. I have a respect for my religion. I love it. I have been devoted to it for the majority of my life. But that is a respect, a liking, a comfort. But I do not think this is Love; I believe it is an enjoyable time with the things or people you enjoy being with.

In the least “a beloved person” is someone you love. Someone you hold in high regards. Someone who you look up to, someone you respect so much that you want to be close to them or be like them. For many people this would be Christ. He showed selflessness and devotion to mankind. He respected each of us to the point that he gave his own life for each of us that we could live with God again. That is pure Love in my eyes. Have I ever felt that way towards anyone? That I would die for them? Sad to say I have not. Now I have thought that I would do what it takes to protect my nieces and nephews when we are out Christmas shopping in the winter. But I think like that more because I don’t want their parents to kill me if something happened to them.

Let’s bring this full circle. What is the meaning “to be IN LOVE”? I listen to a lot of music… a lot of music and there are plenty of love songs that are in the mix of things. The way these artists describe Love is something that I have never felt. I have felt them in other aspects like showing devotion, a liking for something, a fondness for something too. But I have never been IN LOVE. For me I am not sure that is possible. I think about things too much. So is love just an emotion made up by chemical releases in the brain or is it real? Is it something that we can chase after? Is it something you can feel about someone just by thinking of them or being in their presence?

To me it is something that we have made up in our minds. When you lose someone you love, you may cry it out for a few days or weeks but eventually you get over it and move on to the next love of your life. That’s how we are. Is there one person for me out there? Most likely because it is set in the plan that God made. But is it possible to love someone else instead of the one I am destined to be with? Yes. Our minds and emotions are a lot more like machines than we care to admit.

 

 

(Song: Love, Where is your Fire? Artist: Brooke Fraser)