I’m Gonna Give it All I Can Give

          It is that time of year for most people to make goals. The majority makes a goal to lose weight and they work on it for about 3 days then give up. Well I think the problem with that is they have no one to account to. For my new year resolutions I am going to make sure I have someone to account to; all my readers. I want my friends to check up with me and make sure I am doing what I am supposed to. Let’s start:

          Looking over this past year, the two thousand and eleventh year of our Lord, I learned that I am a very selfish person. I want to make 12 new friends this year. I am not talking about best friends, but people I can get along with and talk to at church, or school, or even hang out once in a while. I think that if I can help others I won’t be so bitter all the time. Along with that same idea, I want to strengthen friendships I already have; my closest friends have become distant, I blame it on marriage or school. The real issue is me; I need to be the one to make an effort to see them because they have more important things than me. I have friends in California that I want to keep. I want to make sure they know they are very important people to me. Facebook is an alright way of keeping in touch. But my real intentions for this year are to make sure they know how important they are to me, other than through social networking. Last thing with the friends is I want to solidify friendships that have already begun.

          I was looking at some of my fitness magazines the other day and realized I told everyone on Facebook that I was going to be a “fit man” according to Men’s Health Magazine by this December. I am sad to say that I did not get anywhere near that. So my resolution for this year is no make sure I am progressing along with my plan to be more physically fit and to gain the muscle I want. I am not putting a limit on myself because I think I need to be a little flexible with my health. Being overboard the first few weeks or even days might kill me. I have a plan and I am going to stick to it; diet and all. I have a dietary leader (Thanks Jenna Shirley) and now all I need is a friend to work out with (anyone open to the idea?) I am serious about going. I need someone who will not back out on me, someone who will make the same effort with me (any takers!?)

          I want to be finished with my generals at UVU and I want to be at least starting my program by December of 2012. It takes some dedication for me to get this one accomplished. That’s about all for school. It is short and to the point.

          One thing I want to change about myself is how lazy I am. I want to have some drive to actually do something with my time. I do not want to be wasteful of my time like I have been in the past year. I want to be productive. If that means developing a new talent, so be it (Don’t count on that though). Reading to gain knowledge or studying a topic just for the heck of it is something I will say I am going to do, but I will not let it interfere with my school work.

          I have had a huge problem with how people take advantage of me because I can’t really say no. Another problem I have is the way I am bossed around at work. I am going to stand up for myself. I have a problem with authority when it is used in a bad way; and for a lot of managers where I work this is a problem. Let’s add another goal to this one, I want to do such a good job at my work that I will be promoted to a different store. 

         I have a very strong belief in my religion. I want to make sure this year that this does not diminish. I want to learn a great deal more of the scriptures. I want to gain much more insight about the Bible and The book of Mormon. How they work together and hand in hand. I am going to get pass along cards and make sure that people know that I have a very strong belief in Christ. I want them to not get offended by my beliefs and I want people to understand that this is a part of who I am. Not by my teaching them or because I am intense with them. I want them to know that I am a follower of Christ because of my actions. I want to show them that I am not here to judge them, I am here to live my life and if someone would like to be educated or needs to be educated I will tell them. Remember I will not allow anyone to walk all over me this year, so I will not allow them to trash on my religion either.

          My last goal is one I have been thinking about for a while. I want to do something next year that will have an effect on many lives. I do not want this thing to be negative. I want it to be a very positive thing. Now, I have a whole year to think of something. I want to have an idea of what I can do by the end of June. I have a very good idea, although it has already been done, I want to make it a thought in people’s heads again. Stay tuned for that.

          I have never understood the point of resolutions because I have always had small goals in my life. I have small goals every day of things I need to get accomplished. Today I want to make the decision to have large changes in my life.

 Dr.K

(Song: Free, Artist: Jenny Jordan Frogley)

With the Power in You, We Can Change The Whole World

          My friend asked me the other day why I am so hateful of the world. So I decided to add another post to show why people are annoying. This is something that has been driving me crazy ever since returning to Utah from California. I wrote a report on it and I also gave a 10 minute speech on this; so yeah, it is pretty important.
          There is a little phrase that goes like this “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.” Yes, I am talking about aluminum, plastic and glass. The three of these items are hurting our environment. It has been bothering me because I am made fun of a lot for having a concern for things like this. I want to talk about these things because when I talk about it with someone they just roll their eyes and think about other things because they do not believe me. Or if they do believe me it is not a strong enough belief to actually do something. But let me tell you people something; this is real, and it is affecting us and it will affect our children severely in the near future if we do not work on it now.

          I will begin with glass because it has the least effect on the environment: As most people know, glass is made from sand after lightning strikes it. Another place is from volcanos erupting and melting rocks and sand together (http://www.bigsiteofamazingfacts.com/how-is-glass-made). The point is it is a natural thing. Glass is a substance that does not put off toxic gasses, or chemically harms the environment. That does not mean you should just throw glass away. There are plenty of land-fills that have been made into parks or other places like that. Now, if we have broken glass in these land-fills it is hazardous to the people using these parks. Think of taking kids or animals to these parks and them getting a severe cut that has a high possibility of getting infected. Not only this, but think about the animals in the ocean that are making empty glass bottles a home. Hermit crabs will find a home in almost anything, but it is not natural. When we throw away a glass bottle it takes 10,000 years to decompose. It takes less energy and fewer resources when we recycle glass. This may not be the most important thing to recycle but it is still a pressing issue.

          This next chemical has been a major revolution for us. It is used in just about everything we use; from doctors’ offices to kid’s toys, from cell phones to clothes hangers. Plastic is a very useful in our world for obvious reasons. It is cheap to process and use, and it is durable. One thing that has been helpful with the use of plastic is it has lifted the weight of cars so they do not put out as much CO₂ into the air, which causes pollution and smog. Unfortunately with all the good things that come with plastic there are a few bad things, which we can do to help eliminate. When plastic is burned it releases toxins in the air called dioxins. Dioxin is a chorine based chemical that can cause deadly results such as Lung Cancer, Suppression of the Immune System, Liver damage, and much more. So throwing your plastic water bottles into a fire is not the best idea. Burning plastic on your own does not kill the chemicals released. In recycling factories the temperatures kill the chemicals released from plastic, and the plastic is being re-used. Another issue is we are guessing plastic degrades slowly; it takes an estimated 1,000 years for it to decompose entirely. This is just an estimate though because no one has lived long enough to know how long it actually takes. You might think it is just one plastic bottle but if everyone in the world says that it actually ends up being over 6 billion plastic bottles. Recycling is as easy as throwing something away.

          The last item I want to talk about is the one that I get annoyed with people over. Something that needs to be recycled the most is aluminum. I have heard people say that it is a metal so it is natural. This is very bad thinking. Beginning with how aluminum has to be pulled from the earth because it is a mineral. This causes environmental damage because we just keep pulling it from the earth. Why are we continually pulling something out of the planet when we can recycle it? A huge issue is with the amount of energy it takes to make aluminum cans out of new resources. 3% of the world’s energy goes to making aluminum cans. Recycling just one aluminum can saves energy enough to power your television for 3 hours. It takes the same amount of energy to make one new aluminum can out of new material as it does to make 20 cans out of recycles material. That is actually really gross if you think about the amount of energy we use just making aluminum cans. Thrown away aluminum can take 80-200 years to decompose. When we do not recycle it adds to our landfills and pollutes what will be parks we’ll be using with our children one day.  Also non-recycled cans also put chemicals into the ground and air, Dioxide and nitrogen oxide chemicals are released into the air. Both are contributors to smog and acid rain. The chemicals put into the ground are very bad for anything around the dumping zone. Each ton of aluminum cans requires 5 tons of bauxite ore to be strip-mined, crushed, washed, and refined into alumina before it is smelted, creating about 5 tons of caustic red mud residues which can seep into surface and groundwater. People and animals have suffered from the effects of bauxite mining in Jamaica, Brazil, Australia, and other tropical areas (http://www.container-recycling.org/facts/aluminum/dirty.htm). I know for a fact that if this mud was seeping into our ground water people would have a problem with it. But it is not, so people don’t think about it. Most people don’t even know about it. These are reasons why we need to recycle! It helps in eras we do not even know about!

         Please stop asking why and stop being lazy about something as important as this. I know there are many people out there who do not know about all of this. Some people know about it but do not believe the facts. But let me ask you this; what would it hurt to recycle? For arguments sake, let’s say that all the information I just told you about was bogus. It will not hurt anyone to recycle your stuff; whether it is items we use daily or things like batteries or cell phones. There are areas in the world being affected because of our laziness. Our world is not going to remain beautiful much longer if we do not try and do something about it now.

Dr.K

(Song: Superhero; Artist: Simon Curtis)

          While I was looking up pictures for this post, I found many pictures I wish people would look at. Many animals are suffering because of our plastic being put into the ocean; animals are being hurt because of our laziness. But the thing that got me the most was caustic red mud residues. This stuff burns; it is very damaging to all wild life and even damaging to people who come in contact with it. For us to help is such an easy task. All you have to do is recycle your stuff.

Clouds Will Rage

          For the past few days I have been really down. Down so deep it feels like the pressure of the ocean is on my chest. It is hard to explain the feeling, because most people I talk to just say, “Well that’s life.” I am not sure how that is supposed to comfort anyone, or the times when people try and out-do your problems with their problems. Don’t others realize that you are seeking someone to talk to and complain to; not someone who is going to try and make it seem like your issues are less than theirs. Unfortunately I feel like I have pushed friends away because I was being negative while they are trying to be positive about my situations.

          While I have been having these down days I think a lot about things; best friends who end up being nothing you can really rely on, or friends who just vanish entirely from my life. It sucks thinking about the dates I have ATTEMPTED to take girls on and how my desire to date has diminished because of the way girls act like they are still in high school. The thing that got to me the most was how I looked back over the year and nothing I have done this year has been for anyone else. I have been very selfish; I wanted a new job so I could have more money. I moved out so I could have more college experiences. I applied and got the promotion at work so I could have the experience of being a manager. These are just some major things, but overall I have not done anything for anyone else; I have not gone to Africa to help dig wells so people can have fresh water. I have not been to Costa Rica to help in orphanages. I have not even donated blood (I don’t think I can ever do that though) or even helped out at a homeless shelter or an AIDS clinic. I have been very selfish this year and I think karma is coming back at me because I have not been thinking too much about others, now others are not thinking about me.

          I just finished another book. I finally read I am Number Four by Pittacus Lore and I enjoyed it. I have found friends in my books because of the way the characters are able to help others and end up being the hero. Sometimes it would be nice to be the hero. I want to change my attitude (which will be difficult) and I want to be useful to someone. I want to be the individual others can rely on. I want to be a Hero in someone’s eyes. “Clouds will rage and storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms. Rains will pour down, waves will crash around, but you will be safe in my arms.” I like this song, and I want to be someone can rely on when they are feeling like this. Because I know how bad it sucks when you are feeling like this alone.
          Now that my ‘self-pity party’ is coming to a close I feel better. It still sucks having your day killed because of a traffic ticket. It ruins the season when you realize that you are alone (romantically) yet again for another holiday.  But most of all, largest mood killer is when I realize how selfish I have been since returning from California.

Dr.K
(Song: In My Arms; Artist: Plumb)

Tell Me, Would You Kill to Prove You’re Right?

          It surprises me how intense people become to try and prove that what they know is right. Last night when I was trying to sleep my roommates decided to begin a deep discussion about one of the most useless topics in the world. There were 4 guys discussing this, two brothers and two friends. Of course they were doing this loudly as I was trying to sleep. I am beginning to think that is their favorite time to have heated discussions; while I slumber. Let me tell you how it all began:

          A group of girls had just left, one of them brought up the subject of asking one of them out. After they left this is what started the discussion. One of them asked if he would pay if a girl asked him out. He said “no” (which I agree because if she does the asking she should do the planning of the date and paying) when one of the brothers started calling him a jerk for not being a gentleman. It got heated at that point. They argued this for such a long time! Then they started talking about opening doors for girls, I do not know how this got into the subject but it did.

          After arguing for quite a while one of the brothers then said “The prophet has said that we should pay for the date.” That is what started the talk of church doctrine on the subject. It was like listening to a Mormon missionary try to teach Buddhism without ever meeting a Buddhist. They were making up things all over the place. You know the phrase “Grandma is rolling over in her grave” that was me in my bed last night. They were driving me insane. All my theories about how false church doctrine is started were used last night in their discussion. They twisted quotes from prophets, made up examples that made no connection to what was being discussed. The most horrible thing about this entire thing is that they were yelling! I could not sleep, and one of the brothers was getting so intense in getting his point across that I thought I was going to wake up to the police in my apartment cleaning up body parts because they had killed each other. I have never liked the idea of anyone forcing their ideas onto anyone. This one particular roommate is that type of person. Last night I saw that he was almost ready to kill because someone else would allow a girl to pay for dinner. He seems to control this entire apartment. If the temperature is too warm he freaks out, if you’re in the shower too long he freaks out, if something does not go his way he freaks out. I would not be surprised if her kills someone or hurts them badly to get his point across. If something happens that he does not agree with he becomes an angry individual. His ideas and opinions are law, if you have a problem with it you can leave. This is one reason I do ask them to do anything, because I am nervous he will freak out.

          Thank you all for listening to me complain. I just think that I need to tell someone how angry this guy is just case I die from an outburst or something. Just watch out for all the weirdly crazy people who are angry like this guy. Sadly most of them own guns because they are farmers and hunters.

          P.S. eventually I texted one of them this: “I’m too exhausted to move. Please continue this worthless conversation tomorrow!” shortly after they all went to bed. And I finally got to sleep.

Dr.K

(Song: Hurricane, Artist: Thirty Seconds to Mars)

I'm Gonna Drink My Tears and Cry

          I recently moved out (I know I am 22 and was living with my parents) which has been really good for me. I wanted to move into an apartment where I could make friends and meet new people. The main reason my mother wanted me to move out was because she wants me to get married ASAP. I don’t meant to disappoint her, but I am taking my time, I don’t want to rush into something just because I am counseled to do so. This is beside the point; what I want to talk about is my 5 roommates. To me that’s a little too many people together, but whatever. These 5 guys are total strangers. I have never met them before in my life. I wanted this; I wanted to meet new people and make new friends. The problem is that these 5 guys all know each other. They are actually really good friends from Delta Utah. So starting off I have been the odd man out.

I know a lot of this is my problem, but it all seems really awkward. The first few weeks here there were a couple girls who would come over and visit my roommates as a group. I would kind of exclude myself because they did not want to talk to me. In the beginning of this transition I went to activities trying to get to know people. I don’t claim to be the most social person, but I usually don’t struggle making friends. I went to these activities, talked to a couple people but that was about it. It soon became another high school type atmosphere with clicks and groups. Like high school, I did not fit in with one group in particular. I try to make friends with people from different groups, which is the downfall of my social skills I guess because I become an acquaintance rather than a best friend.
The next thing I did was started hanging out with friends I already had from before I went to California, (Unfortunately this group gets smaller as I get older with all the marriages). One of those people is my friend Jenna Shirley; she and I have lived through just about every horror movie we could think of, not to mention many good visits to In-and-Out or different Asian restaurants. We just have fun, even if it is just her and I sitting in my ice cold room listening to music and talking, or being overly dramatic about how poor my roommates band sings (the instruments are played well, the singing could scare away a banshee).

One day I came home from work and saw that someone had put sticky notes on our fridge with different members of the apartments name on each paper. They were written in girl’s handwriting. But something was off, there were 5 notes. My name was not there. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did. I had already felt a bit excluded from them because they all have known each other for a while. But his just made the separation greater. That night Jenna came over to watch a movie and I told her what was bothering me, we joked about different things we were going to do to each note. But instead of actually writing different profanities on the notes Jenna got a not card out of my room, wrote my name in large letters, and stuck it on the fridge. Later that week one of my roommates mentioned it to me saying he was sorry I was left out. I blew it off like nothing was wrong. It was nice to have one of them recognize I was excluded a bit. That night one of their friends came over and brought some cookies for them. She had a plate with 5 cookies on it. Again, I was excluded. But I was going to not let it bother me this time. The problem with this situation was this particular roommate that apologized to me made a kind of scene about her bringing only 5 cookies, right in front of me. There I sat on the couch awkwardly pretending I did not hear the conversation going on next to me. Needless to say she always includes me now.

Well one might think this one roommate would start to include me. Nope, your thoughts are wrong. It has only gotten worse. The do not tell me when church activities are going on or even when the complex activities are going on. Around thanksgiving I found a stack of letters in the front room. Five letters each addressed to a particular person in the apartment. Lucky for me not all 5 letters had specific names. Two of them said “To whom this may concern” on them and the letter was pretty general. I again complained to Jenna about this, and as I was complaining we found a few hand written letters for my roommates again. I do not know when I became an outsider or even non-existent. But I guess most people around here think there are only 5 people living here. Jokingly Jenna asked me if I wanted a letter, and I said yes. The thing is she actually wrote a letter for me.

I wanted to take this moment to write to her: Jenna, you fool, I am a complainer, that’s why my blog is called The Bitter Critic. But I am happy you gave me a letter. I feel important. I want to say that I think you and I have a unique relationship. One second we could be having the driest and sarcastic conversation, and then it changes to a normal interesting discussion at the drop of a hat.  Not to mention, you’re in love with me, I am in love with Kelly Clarkson and she has no idea who I am. So this creates a crappy and not very interesting love triangle. But in all 100% seriousness, thank you for being such an awesome friend.
I want everyone to know though, that I know a lot of the social issues with my roommates is my fault. I have put myself in their shoes though; I wish at least one of them would make an effort to include me in at least one thing. I would.

Dr.K

(Song: Government Hooker, Artist: Lady GaGa)

You Might As Well Do It Alone

          To get my thoughts going I ate a few buffalo wing flavored chips, a snack pack pudding, and a few goldfish. I think I am ready. Media; something we all enjoy. We watch movies, listen to music, and read books. Another type of media is the one that tells stories about our favorite stars, we get the news, and there is media that covers up.
          I have never thought myself as an activist. I still don’t think I am an activist at all. But there are things in this world that really irritate me. Miss T wrote about the TV show Jersey Shore and dumb it is. Here is the thing that gets me about this; why are we polluting our minds with trash like that? I guess it can be fun to watch just so you can see how dumb people are. But let me tell you what I really find enjoyable to watch; Life, the show about different animals in the world. Or Planet Earth, now I don’t get all the way into things where I watch documentaries about animals on KBYU every night. But I think life is a lot more interesting when we know about what goes on around us.
          Recently I have been thinking about documentaries, mostly because the best comedies on TV right now are mock-umentaries. I have been considering watching many different documentaries; my only problem is where to start. I wracked my brain trying to think about any that I have heard of, when I thought of one I heard about while living in California. I did not know the name, all I knew is that it earned lots of awards, and it got you thinking. I didn’t even know where to start looking for it. So I kind of put it off to the side. Then a few months ago my friend Allysann told me about a movie she saw called The Cove, she was disturbed. It all sounded familiar; I looked it up and it was the one I was looking for.

          Here is the difference between me watching documentaries and Allysann watching them. I think about them, I research details if I need more questions answered, and I feel educated. Allysann is the activist type where if it the movie really gets to her she will promote it and do everything in her power to change what is wrong. Luckily she is not crazy enough to hurt anyone, she might march but only if it all follows the laws. One of the many reasons I love her.
          I ordered The Cove off amazon; I got it this week and finally had time to watch it today. It was a different kind of movie I had ever seen. Not only did it make me want to change, but it made me want to make sure everyone around me changes too. Hence the reason I am writing this post. As I sit here casually snacking on fish shaped cheddar crackers, there are hundreds of dolphins being slayed in Japan. I have thought about what I can do here in the United States, and I expect there is not much for me to do. Luckily there is the internet.

          I recommend everyone to watch The Cove so they can see for themselves how killing dolphins for their meat is not only toxic to us and the environment, but it is a massacre. These animals have been proven to show intelligence that could surpass ours. While we spend billions of dollars exploring life outside this planet, we could just study life here. I know we each can recall a story we have heard about a dolphin saving a person’s life. From what I have studied there are ancient civilizations that protected dolphins because of this. If a person was to harm a dolphin they were sentenced to death. What other animal on the planet could you rely on if in trouble? Let me rephrase that, what other WILD animal on the planet could you rely on if in trouble?
          I understand that animals are killed for food. I understand that animals are even killed to make sure they do not over-populate. But the way things are done in this movie shows that not all animals are to be killed for food, or even to thin out the population. These are killed because of an easy and cheap way to feed a nation.
          Everyone needs to see this documentary. Then they need to do their part; www.takepart.com/thecove

Dr.K

(Song: Can’t Take It, Artist: All American Rejects)

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

          Just before thanksgiving my dad needed me to get a prescription for him at this health food pharmacy. I was standing in line when the girl in front of me turns around and says, “Hey!” I just look at her… she looks familiar but I can’t place where I have seen her. Then she says, “You don’t remember me?” and I say awkwardly, “You look really familiar…” and she says, “I am Kelsi and Tasha’s aunt.” And then it hit me, I knew who she was, her name suddenly came to mind and I felt like a total idiot that I didn’t recognize her. We chatted for a few minutes before we each got our prescriptions and left. Later that night I told my mom I saw her and because she is so concerned about me getting married she said, “Why don’t you date her?” Uh, say what? My aunt Tiffany’s younger sister, Tasha and Kelsi’s aunt. That is not going to happen for the following reasons:

          The reason for dating is to find a significant other, someone you would want to spend Eternity with. She and I could date but then for Kelsi and Tasha I would be their cousin AND their Uncle. When we have kids not only would my kids and Tasha’s kids be second cousins, they would be first cousins too. This would make an interesting story I am sure.
          Although I won’t take the opportunity to date Kelsi and Tasha’s aunt because of the reasons stated, I think that guys who pass up the chance to get to know her are fools. She is attractive, intelligent, and active within her religion. She is an overall friendly person and has a well-rounded personality. I don’t know what sane guy would give up an opportunity to have a great woman like her. Unfortunately she has had a very poor relationship with an individual in the past; I do not know details, just a basic idea of what happened. She deserves a guy who will make her smile. It makes me really mad when I hear stories about men belittling women. Whether it is their spouse, co-worker, or just a random woman; I do not think women are treated anywhere near the way they should be (for the most part). Nothing bothers me more than when a man treats women like an object. The reason I picked the song What doesn’t Kill you (Stronger) by Kelly Clarkson is because I think it totally says a lot to a lot of people. “You tried to break me, but you see, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller… What doesn’t kill you makes you a fighter, footsteps even lighter.” Bad things happen because of the choices of others. But it is also the choices of others that can help stop the bad things.

          Sorry Tasha and Kelsi, I cannot be double related to you. As much fun as that would have been, it is just a little too different for me. Tiffany, sorry I couldn’t be your nephew and brother-in-law, it is just too different and sorry to Annika for being the main focus of this post and I am sorry for playing out the scenario of us getting married. I just wanted to let you know that I do know who you are, and that I would ask you out if it was not really strange for all the relatives (The only person it would not be strange for would be my mom, she would love having you as a daughter-in-law)… and it is probably weird for you too.

Dr.K

(Song: What doesn’t Kill You (Stronger); Artist: Kelly Clarkson)

You’re Only Gonna Let Me Down

          I have recently started a new position at my job. I was made a manger over the receiving dock in the department store. Luckily my employees do not have to worry about sales or customers. I work with some of the best people I have ever met. They are all very helpful and hard working. The only problem is that I cannot communicate with most of them. Four of them speak English, even then it is broken English for two of them. With the other two it is unique because one is a 50 year old Autistic guy and the other is older and he is kind of off because of a past head injury. Needless to say it is hard for me to express my appreciation when it is hard to communicate with them.
          Before I became the manager of the house-keepers and the handymen I was just a lowly sales associate. Something we had a little fun doing was bashing on the cleaning ladies. I am sorry to admit it but we did complain a lot about the dust. Still to this day I am a little bugged about how dusty it is; that is only something I have to fix myself. This is relevant to the point, I promise.
          Once I have become their manager I see how hard they work. I also see how poorly they have been treated by other managers in the past. The reaction from the majority of them when I was put in this position was kind of funny to me. They would say to me, “Finally a manager who will work” whether it was in their broken English or mumblings. Now I can see how the position I am filling has been neglected and treated as a royalty position in a way. The last manager would assign his people to work and then go chat it up with other managers and leave the hard work to his employees while he abandoned them for social gatherings. When going into this spot I knew I needed to be an equal with my employees (on a working level) I know I will have to show seniority over them eventually. I have had to do that a bit already.  But I think respect is needed for them because of all the work they have to do.
          Today we had a shipment of clothes and other things for the store, so we had to unload the freight. This is not an easy task, and we had to get it all done and put away today because tomorrow we have another tuck that will bring the same amount of stuff and possibly more. We got everything arranged and on the floor for the associates to put away. As I was on my way out the door for the day I was stopped by a lady, whom I really like, and she starts degrading my employees; calling them dumb, incompetent and lazy. She expected them to know exactly what merchandise she had in her area. “The Wool-Rich clothes don’t go over here!” and “I had to walk a lot of Juniors clothes to their area!” I was surprised to see her talking to me like this. The comment that really got to me was, “If I did my job as poorly as they do theirs I wouldn’t have a job.” She let me down at that point. I was really sad to see her talking about these awesome people so poorly. I tried to defend them, but she talked down each positive remark I said. My blood was boiling, I had to bite my tongue and just suffer through her complaining.
          On my drive home I thought about all of this; letting the entire day process through my mind. I realized I was one of those complainers only last week (I have only been in this position three days). The lady that talked with me let me down, but the thing that really got to me the most was I let myself down. I can see the both sides of the argument; the house-keepers have a lot they are expected to do. With two employees less than I am supposed to have, it is hard to accomplish everything. I have two older guys who do things their own way. I don’t care because the things I ask them to do get done. I have three Hispanic ladies; one of them has breast cancer and was in surgery two weeks ago. They all get the things done I ask them to do. All I can say is I am ashamed that I had not looked at their entire situation. I get it all now; I just wish they could all see it before they degrade the great people.

Dr.K

(Song: Let Me Down; Artist: Kelly Clarkson)

You Make Me Want to Listen to Music Again

          I have been writing an essay for school for the past 2 hours and I needed a break. What did I do with that break? I looked up my blog to see if anyone commented on what I posted yesterday and I got a friend of mine wanting me to talk about the things I like about me and others. The things I like about myself will probably come at a later post when I am in a conceded mood. But what I like about others is all in the post The Reason Why I Smile.            

        Music has always been a favorite thing of mine. It is my refuge when I have had a bad day. It tantalizes my senses when I am thinking about my crushes. It sets the mood for a good movie; I dance in my car and sing at the top of my lungs listening to the right songs, and my favorite thing to do is have it playing in the background as I study or work. People who know me personally know that I do love music. A lot of them come to me when they want a particular song because chances are, I will have it.
          One day as I was singing along with Kelly Clarkson in my car I had a great idea; I would pair up my favorite artists or songs! This is the list I have come up with:
          Kelly Clarkson and P!nk. They both have unique voices, but together they would accent each other. Kelly is singing about failed relationships and P!nk is just an angry singer. So together they would have a perfect song singing/yelling at an ex-boyfriend. Does that not sound like a good idea? Two other singers I would pair up for an awesome duet would be Adam Lambert and Lady GaGa. Their music styles are similar, but with the diversity of Lady GaGa and the modern 80’s style of voice Adam has would probably be an ambrosial sound. I would LOVE to hear them do a duet. I am not a big fan of country music but I think Faith Hill and Taylor Swift would make a good fun song together. Another duet I wanted to do was Josh Groban with someone, this was hard to think about for a little bit. But after a free download on iTunes and a new love for a rising artist I decided that Elizavita will be perfect for the part. Their voices will totally accent each other. A nearly perfect duet in my opinion.

          I have many songs that I like, and pairing them up with other songs that I like would not be a bad idea. Let me explain this a little bit because it is kind of confusing. When I say I would pair up the songs, I mean the two artists coming together to write a song with a combination of the two mentioned. It will be easier to get as I go along. First I would put the song Unwinding Cable Car by Anberlin and the song You’re Not Alone by Saosin together. Not in a remix form, but I would love to have the two bands get together and write a duet with the musical accents of the two songs into one glorious mouthwatering display of musical instruments. Second is Something in the Water by Brooke Fraser and Sunrise by Norah Jones. Each has a nice playful sound and together I think the two artists could make something quite amazing! Third is Smile by Avril Lavigne and Give Your Heart a Break by Demi Lovato. I can’t explain why these two songs would have a great brain child but I think it would be worth listening to. Another would be Animal by Ke$ha and Hummingbird Heartbeat by Katy Perry. Each has elements that put me in a trance and I think those two together would not only bring out a great song, but it might push the boundaries of what is possible to see on a musical stage. Putting Katy Perry and Ke$ha together on stage is worse than Britney Spears and Madonna. But don’t think about that, it is the song I am lusting after. Now, together Kristina Maria’s song Play and Simon Curtis’ song Flesh would be an amazing artwork. Now keep in mind both of these songs have a lot of risqué lyrics, but it is the beat that I am talking about. I don’t get how I find the dirty songs, but somehow I find them, like them and about a month later I realize what the song is talking about. By then I am hooked. But that song would be one I would sing to in my car.

           Ok I think I have taken the idea of “song children” a little too far, but I LOVE music and I had to vocalize this a bit. I had to talk about it though because I do this a lot; these were just a few favorites that I have come up with!

Dr.K

(Song: Music Again, Artist: Adam Lambert)

If You Strip Me, Strip It All Away

         I have an image problem. I know I have mentioned things before. Mostly hints of things that I don’t like about myself, but I am going to verbalize many of them. Let’s start with my personality; I like to think that I get along with almost all people. But I have a confession, I don’t. I have issues with a group of people that is found in every society. I cannot stand arrogant personalities. I know I am not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but most of the time I can pick out really conceited people. I have actually caught myself putting these people down to mortalize them in my mind. Whether I am tearing them down on how they walk, or their imperfections; I catch myself putting them down. I have a friend who is one of these people. No offenses to all the wrestlers out there but all of them have an attitude like this. My friend walks with a strut, he knows everything about everything and everyone is in love with him. The bad thing about this is you should never tell an arrogant person you like them, because their head will soon look like the queen of hearts. When I notice someone with a large head I subconsciously start tearing them down to their face. It will all be done in a joking manor but I am serious with what I say. The best part about all of this is that they stay around me; maybe it is a good thing to do to help people stay grounded. This is not a quality I like too much about myself but it does exist.

         Spirituality is something I feel like is a weird issue, but it is something that I think about. I tear apart spiritual experiences. I am probably going to be back-handed by the Good Man by doing this. Sometimes I feel bad about doing it but when it comes to the LDS church I have to dissect and process things because theory becomes doctrine too quickly in some meetings. Here is an example: I was sitting in church last week and there was a guy who was giving a talk, and the way he said the prayer got under my skin a little bit. He had dramatic pauses and he had what I like to call The Spiritual Voice. This is when the individual lowers his voice to a lower tune, and quiets his speech. He pauses often to add an effect of “holiness” to what he is talking about. He talked about personal experiences from his mission, and he was a little farcical about them. I am possibly a little too laid back, but I have an issue with people who like to dramatize spiritual experiences to make them look special in some way. I have never had a huge awakening moment to know that God is real; it is by small and simple testimony builders that have solidified my belief in God. So when I sit in church and listen to an over-dramatic story telling of a spiritual experience I vomit a little bit in my mouth. I am not saying this to talk down a spiritual experience, but I feel like the people who express intimate spiritual experiences in this way are diminishing the importance of the experience. Or I dare say they are almost making a mockery of it all.

          Now to the most annoying things I think about myself. They are my physical features. I am really tall so I have bad blood circulation in my body, my hands and feet are always cold. That is one of the many reasons I prefer a warmer climate. When the circulation actually gets moving properly through my hands or feet I feel weird; my hands or feet will feel swollen and tight. Another thing I hate about myself is my round face, no explanation there because it is not a desired trait. Along with my round face I have an oddly shaped nose and a sharp chin with a flat head. I am thin and gangly, my eyes are not as green as I would like them and I cannot gain weight to save my life; I wish I could follow Kellan Lutz around for a week or a month and see what that guy eats in a day. Then I would imitate it and become an Abercrombie model. That would be totally awesome.

                That’s me in a nut-shell.  

 Dr.K

(Song: Strip Me, Artist: Natasha Bedingfield)

There’s Nothing Wrong with Loving Who You Are

                I had to laugh to myself when I found out there is a day totally set aside for gay’s to “come out.” But alas, today (October 11^th) is that day. When I realized this it got me thinking. I am not going to make this a very long post because I have talked about this before. I just have been really bothered with people lately; the crude things they say about each other. Racism has gotten a lot better, but people are still really racist, sometimes we even say things jokingly. Sadly I am guilty of this so I can’t say I am perfect. What is wrong with us? How does making fun of someone’s skin color make us cool? Or how does talking down to women make men superior? Or how does making fun of someone’s sexual preferences make your own problems better? Who says white is the better race? Or men are better than women?                  I think the core of our problem is in each group. I like the line in Mean Girls when Tina Fey says, “You all have got to stop calling yourselves whores and b***hes, because it only makes it ok for guys to call you whores and b***hes.” It is so true!

                We are advised to be who we are, or to be ourselves. If I see anyone being the butt end of a joke I feel like I need to stand up for the under-dog. I guess my personality of this comes from elementary school; I was teased and made fun of because I did not play any sports. I would hang out with the girls, and I still would rather hang out with girls. But I want everyone to know, I would not be the person I am today without those friends. The teasing was irritating at the time, and it still is when I think about it now. But I was just being me. There is nothing wrong with me. I was just not following the crowd by playing sports or doing idiotic things with other idiotic boys. I was not following tradition.

                After recently starting Twitter I have started following a certain musical star that is vocal about bullying. I did not know how vocal he was until now. I did not realize how bullying is still a large part of our society. But he said something today that I agree with. He said, “Parents are setting examples of discrimination and inequality. Starts with the grown-ups.” I guess that is where I learned to treat others the way you would like to be treated. We need to remember this:

 Someone is watching and that’s a fact,

Someone will copy the way you act.

So make this your motto and put it to use,

Be someone’s example and not their excuse.

Kids are watching everything we do. They imitate the things we do, in word and action. If someone uses this day to “come out” in anything, not just in the way gay’s mean it. We need to act, not react. Whatever it may be, treat each person as the individual they are. A child of God.

 Dr.K

(Song: Born This Way; Artist: Lady GaGa)

Eyes Wide Shut

            I have been thinking about a few different things to write about. Most of my current ideas are pretty raw right now so I think I will go back onto an idea that I see every day. There are many examples of this idea or concept. Have you ever been put onto a situation where something bad has happened, you are a witness but you did not say anything? Let me give an example:               One day I was working when a lady told me to keep an eye on someone she was helping because he may have stolen something. Because work was so boring this was exciting, let’s catch someone doing something they shouldn’t. To make a long story short, they guy did steal a pair of shorts. The store security ended up catching the guy so I had to write a statement, so did the lady who first noticed the guy. When I told her she needed to write a statement she complained and said, “Next time I am not telling anyone anything.” So just because it was a hassle to write a statement she is going to let the next person steal. Now, I doubt she will actually do that but it is the concept that is important.

               I have heard people complaining too many times about how the world is getting worse. Well here is the reason why. Because no one wants to be a tattle-tale, but the damage you are doing when you do not turn someone in for something they have done wrong is worse than telling on them.
              Let us look at the issue that planted the seed for this idea. There is a man in power, governmental power, who runs his county any way he wants. He is doing so many bad things to innocent people. Now when I say “bad” I mean firing people from their job or getting their educational certificates taken away just because they don’t agree with the way he runs things. When the issues are brought up to government officials over him, they just look the other way. They are allowing wrong things to happen. It is just a frustration to me when people do not stop wrong things before they get too far.

Dr.K

(Song: Sleepwalker, Artist: Adam Lambert)

I posted this last night, but something happened today that really emphasizes my point. I will again make a long story short; my mother and I (my Mom works in Hell, I mean, the store with me) and she sits in the camera room and catches people stealing. Well today she caught someone, but because there was no security officer in the store she had to call a manager. Do you think this idiot did anything? I personally watched this kid tear tags off a shirt, roll it up, and stuff it in his jacket. I mean, he could not have been more obvious what he was doing. Nothing happened. I want to say, Jared you are an idiot. Not only did you allow merchandise from your store to leave without being paid for, you are allowing this kid to get away with what he is doing, so he thinks it is fine. Next time he is going to take it a little further, maybe he will break into a car, or someone’s house. It always starts as the little things. Then gets worse and worse, then people complain that there are so many bad things happening in our society. In my opinion, if you see it happening and don’t do anything about it you are an advocate. Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving.

The Reason Why I Smile

                This is a spontaneous post. I really should be doing homework but this concept just randomly shot through my thoughts. Mainly because I was listening to Avril Lavigne’s song Smile. Then as I started to write this post I had many different titles come to mind, You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson or Obsession by Sky Ferreira. The reason I have told you this is because what this idea goes along with a lot of song lyrics.

                Have you ever had a friend, or a boyfriend/girlfriend who makes you smile? Not just because they make you laugh, but they put a grin on your face. There is no reason you are sitting there smiling at this person like a fat kid at a buffet. But just the fact that they are with you puts a smile on your face. I have even found myself smiling when I think about specific friends. Not just because they are funny, or they make me laugh, but I have a smile out of gratitude for the fact that I am friends with this person. This has only happened to me a couple of times. Surprisingly it was not only a potential lover but a really good friend. When this has happened I have been caught smiling creepily and staring at someone. That usually freaks people out so be careful.

                The reasoning I thought of the title You Found Me by Kelly Clarkson was because whenever I am having a bad day or feeling a little depressed (which happens too much lately) I text or call a friend like this. Usually when I get a reply a smile breaks across my face. I can’t help it. I could not sit here and tell you exactly what it is that causes me to react like this. You might be sitting there telling me that I have a crush on this individual. But I will tell you that’s not it because I have done this with people I am not attracted to, if you are smelling what I am stepping in. I hope your picking what I am putting down.

                Now the reason I was thinking about the title of Obsession by Sky Ferreira is because when this does happen with a crush, and I know you agree with me, you want that person to become obsessed with you. Don’t deny the fact that you are a crazy person and you want to be loved. Wait, we all want that too. And when you become nearly obsessed with this person you want the same in return. For example; I am seriously in love with Kelly Clarkson and I want the same obsession in return. Ok I am kidding but kind of serious at the same time.

                The reason I chose the title of The Reason Why I Smile is because it is from the song that gave me this idea. And it lays it out beautifully. I want to know what makes you smile with your friends, crush, or significant other. I will start: My friend John Tanner, I smile because he and I are total opposites, but totally alike at the same time. He does not care what anyone else says or thinks about him, he is a true individual. Which is something I love in people.  Kaitlin McKinlay makes me smile because of the kind love she shares with everyone, even random strangers (even the BUM’s on the street that propose her). There are not enough loving people in this world anymore.  Allysann McKinlay makes me smile because of all the funny things we have done together in the past, present, and even things we have yet to so together. It is always nice to have a friend who will push you out of an airplane for fun. Danielle McKinlay makes me smile because of our secret romance we have had since I was 12. You were my first love. Jeff Otero makes me smile because he is someone you can talk to and no matter what he says to you, you always leave the conversation a happier person. He is just magic that way. Becca Lindsay makes me smile because she is always a genuinely happy person, her happiness is contagious. We need a lot more contagious happiness in our lives. Kelsi Webb makes me smile because she makes a great effort to make sure everyone around her is content. She is full of inspirational thoughts and she does a great job cutting my hair. Kelsi, you are totally awesome! Torie Wake makes me smile because although all of the hard trials she has had recently in her life she laughs at everything. Literally, everything. Her smile just makes you smile too. Jenna Shirley makes me smile because of how honest she is. If I am doing something she does not approve of, she will make sure I know it, and then we laugh about it. Then we laugh about everyone around us too. Meaghan Morris makes me smile because of how caring she is. She makes sure everyone is included in everything. Not a single person is left out when Meaghan is around. Emily Norell makes me smile because she is one of the funniest people I know in this life. Whenever I need a good laugh, I think of things we did as dumb kids and that always puts me in a slap-happy mood. Reed Nelson makes me smile because he is always there for me when I need someone to talk to, even when I am in the most bitter of moods. Thanks Reed, for taking in my negativity and making it positive. Josh Garcia makes me smile because it does not matter how deeply depressed I am, or angry I am, he always lightens the mood and gets me joking and my mood ALWAYS makes a total 360. I don’t know how he does it but that is what happens. Joseph Latham makes me smile because he is always right. The only time he is wrong is when he is sexist. I smile because he was my best friend while I was in California. Miss T makes me smile because we started this bog together but I am the only one who writes on it. But she is a friend for me always. I could be the most hated person on the planet and she would be right there by my side, being hated along with me.

                I know I have named a lot of people here, but I also know I have not named everyone. All of my friends have made me smile. Spontaneous smiles are my favorite. I want to know who makes you smile!

Dr.K

(Song: Smile, Artist: Avril Lavigne)