Thursday, June 21, 2012

Shatter Every Window ‘Till it’s All Blown Away

          Wow, it has been a long time since I have written. I think mostly the reason I have not taken the time to write is mainly my job. And now I am about to complain; that what this blog is about, the woes of my life. The Bitter Critic is the right title; I am not the Positive Pansy. So as I was saying...
          I work as a Manager in the state side wannabe Nordstrom store known as Dillard’s. This place is full of people who don’t know what they are doing (myself included) and people who will not own up to their actions. Being in management I have had to deal with people that are higher in the company; for example: I had a large number of fixtures that we didn’t use, and still do not use. All these things do is collect dust and haven’t held clothes on them in probably 5 years at the least. When I got in contact with the guy in charge of inter-store shipments he told me to send a few. So I did what I was told. Next thing I know I have 10 people calling me from the distribution center wanting to know why these were on the truck, I explained to them and told them who told me to do it. When this guy was confronted he denied giving permission on anything. So who do they believe? the guy who has been there longer. Luckily I had the email that gave me the go ahead. Needless to say I am not this guy’s favorite person.
          These kinds of things don’t happen too often with corporate, but they still happen. But now let’s talk about the other managers in the store. I am the youngest manager out of the 10 managers (the shoes manager is just a couple years older than me) so I am the one everyone likes to boss around. I have actually enjoyed the opportunity to learn how to be a leader and delegate. That is not the issue, the issue is there are 3 people who are trying to do anything possible to get me out of the store; whether it is getting me fired (which they prefer) or putting so much pressure on me that I quit. I have considered talking to the store manager, the one over all of us; but he too is being targeted. The district manager has actually been in our store once regarding the claims to get the main manager fired.
          I have complained too many people about all these things, but what really stresses me out is the fact that there are people in this world out to ruin the lives of people they don’t like. I usually just ignore the people I don’t like, and I am surviving very well. But there are those who will work as hard as possible to destroy the lives of the people they hate. These 3 managers have caused a great desire for a tornado to come sweeping through Provo and take its path right on top of Dillard’s, collapsing on these 3 people. I was telling someone the other day at how I would not even flinch if I witnessed one in particular getting hit by a speeding car. I would just say “oh that’s too bad” then call the police, and leave not caring to know if she lived or died. What would cause me to be so cold hearted? Oh yeah, her unstoppable desire to get rid of me.
          Now watching Dillard’s burn with these 3 people trapped inside wouldn’t be half bad either, but what I do not understand is why did they give me a positive review when they were contemplating putting me into the position I am in now? I can only come up with the idea that they were pressured by others in the room who were giving positive reviews to also give a positive review, because they don’t want to go against the flow. Or maybe they thought I would be easily manipulated because I am young. Well since I have not been manipulated into their slave work I have somehow pissed them off to the point of them working on getting me in trouble and trying to force me out in some way. Sadly to say they will probably win, the environment is so toxic there that when I walk into Dillard’s in the morning I feel like I am suffocating. When I leave I feel free like I just climbed out of a very tight cave into a field.
          When I get home at night I lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling in awe that I survived another day. There are a few people I can talk to at work, but there is nothing they can do but complain with me. So that is why I have not been writing, I don’t even get up to make food for myself after work each day because I am so tired. That place it emotionally taxing, and physically at times. So I have tried to do things that make me happy, I have read a few books, watched a few TV shows and then I go to bed and start with the poison again bright and early the next day.
          I have been trying to be more positive lately, and some days it feels like swimming against the current, but I am making the attempt. So now let me tell you about someone that makes me happy, well 3 people, one is a Hollywood crush, another is a very good singer, and one is someone I know quite well. My new Hollywood crush is Valerie Bertinelli from the TV show Hot in Cleveland the second is Kelly Clarkson (That is a given) and the last is my Nephew Haydyn. He just seems to make everything better, unless he is tired, than he makes everyone want to put him to sleep. So to relieve myself of the stress of the hell hole I call work I listen to Kelly Clarkson on the way home from work, watch Valerie Bertinelli on Hot in Cleveland when I get home and pray for Haydyn and his cute little brother each night.
          I have even starting drinking herbal teas meant to relieve stress but alas, nothing there, I might hit the bottle soon. I have never been tempted to drink alcohol, but a blue bottle of sky vodka looked like a peaceful way to end the day the other night. I won’t start drinking because I know better, but if life doesn’t get better I might implode on myself.

 Dr.K

(Song: Blown Away; Artist: Carrie Underwood)


2 comments:

  1. Now I have to worry about you, Kyle. We all miss you around here and every time we feed the elders, a Kyle story always gets told. Don't give up ok? And I won't either...

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  2. Wow Kyle. That was a serious downer. At least you had a good picture to go with it. Did you take it? It looks suspiciously like something you would stage ;) I'm rooting for you Kyle. Love you.

    P.S. Sharon was laughing at your status on facebook. Hey, at least I made it to the 70 percentile! That's a passing grade right!?

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