Friday, March 15, 2013

I'm Just a Holy Fool

          Over the last few days I have been thinking about all the weird quirky things I do. All the things I find annoying about myself and ways that I think I am hilarious. I have had many depressing posts in the past and I realized I was a very depressed and negative person. So I have been trying to revamp my life and be more positive. I realized I cannot control everything that goes on but I can control how I react to it. Honestly I have to give thanks to one of my idols, Tina Fey, watching her television show 30 Rock has shown me that everyone has strange moments in their life.
          In one episode I remember Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) came home to find the producer of her TV show doing the dirty with his wife in her bed. She walks in the room disgusted and says “AWW man, serious? I eat in there.” Well that is something I do a lot. Actually I eat every meal at home in my bed. Mainly because my apartment was lived in by the world’s most gross hoboes. I have to walk around on the carpet with socks because if I don’t the nasty black carpet turns my feet black and eventually turns the bathtub black, my sheets black, and even turns my white shoes black (I don’t own a pair of white shoes, but if I did the carpet would turn the black). So there is a funny thing I do, but seriously my apartment smells like someone had a 100 year long orgy in here. It smells worse than a locker room after a football game. I lock myself in my room and waste my cologne spraying it everywhere trying to get the smell out.
          For those who are close to me know that I don’t really want kids. Not that I don’t like kids (I say I don’t like kids but it’s mostly the fact that I don’t want my own). I am not sure where this all came from. I like my nieces and nephews and sometimes other kids. But most of the time I roll my eyes at kids and make fun of them. So basically I am the devil according to young parents and grandparents. I tell people at work that when I babysit my nephews I put them to bed at like 3. “Ok Haydyn and Brodie, your mom and dad have been gone for 10 minutes, time for bed.” I usually say it like they are barely able to understand me. But then Hayden will be like “Uh, no. my mom said I can stay up until they get home.” Then I say to him “When you get such a big vocabulary?” he is 6 almost 7. I don’t know where he learned these things so fast, shouldn’t he still be saying “goo goo gaga.” Oh well, my friends at work think I am the worst uncle. Especially because Brodie gets shy around me when he hasn’t seen me in a while. So they will say things like “Oh see, he doesn’t like you because you make him go to bed at 3 PM.” But the kid is 2, he doesn’t know the difference in time.
          I have a bad problem in my subconscious. It is so deep in my personality that it was not an easy thing to realize but I found it, especially when I had Mission companions get mad at me for being rude. This is something else that I feel I can relate to Liz Lemon in 30 Rock. There is an episode in the second season where Liz decides to go to a class reunion. After a long deliberation she is talked into it. She was hesitant because she was made fun in high school. When she gets to the reunion she soon learns that she was the bully in high school saying snide, rude comments to the “cool” classmates. Now I feel like I am like this because like I said, I have issues. I tend to really hate people with preppy happy personalities, well I guess not preppy, but too happy that is doesn’t seem genuine. I usually stare at them and smile, but in my head I think “Please someone kill her/him… or me!” But the really bad thing is when I encounter someone who thinks very highly of themselves. My biggest problem I have with anything in life is when someone is arrogant and cocky. Early in life I thought it was just me being annoyed of it, but I hate it so bad that it entered into my subconscious and I developed a serial killer attitude toward arrogance. I feel it is a horrible attribute and it should be destroyed from anyone’s personality. That being said…
          I had a companion on my Mission who was the definition of arrogance. If you looked up the name in the dictionary his was one of the many pictures under the definition. I am going to describe to you this guy, I may seem a little rude but I am only writing the truth. Let’s call this guy Elder T. Elder T was from Georgia. The armpit of the United States, honestly that’s one reason I watch the walking dead, to see how rednecks would survive the end of the world. Because we need to NOT have rednecks repopulating the earth, but that is another story. This guy was balding on top, his hair was thin and he cut it really short so no one would see his balding spot. He had big lips and let a slight goatee grow (although it was against mission rules to have facial hair) the goatee was not bad but you could see he purposely did not shave that area every day, just every other day or every two days. I would catch a glimpse of him through a sliver in the door of the bathroom (I know I am a creep, but his arrogance was so interesting to watch). He would put on his aviator sunglasses and have his backpack on looking at himself in the mirror. He always had a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. He thought he was the shiz. So I tell you about him because being with him all day every day for six weeks drove me insane. I noticed I was doing a kind of defense mechanism or something; I would put him down when he would talk. We would have dinner with members of the congregation and he had like an oil leakage of self-promoting compliments oozing out of his mouth all the time. Every time he spoke I made a comment that seemed to even out his story. He would say something about himself, I would tell them about something dumb or funny he did so the world would keep its balance. We were at one house where this family’s teenage son pulled me aside and said “Dude, what’s wrong with the other guy?” I DON’T KNOW! The point of this story is that I have a BIG issue with arrogant and cocky people; I somehow find the things I hate about them or the things they are doing wrong and bring them out to the surface. Seeing them humble up a bit when I catch them at a moment’s weakness is rewarding. I told you, I have issues.
          So, because of my inner bully I have found another similarity to Liz Lemon.  I am finishing up for tonight, I have more of the same characteristics with Liz Lemon that I can discuss another night.
 
(Song:Judas, Artist:Lady GaGa)

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