My First Kiss

                I went on a trip to San Francisco last week for work. I was excited for the trip, I like traveling, specifically flying. We don’t live far from California so I figured the flight would have taken about, an hour, and two at the most. But our flight actually took 4 hours. On the way there we had a layover in L.A. and on the way home we had a layover in Phoenix (which is out of the way in my opinion). So I wanted to load up my iPod with things that would keep me entertained. I also took the book I was reading at the time, but do you think I could actually relax enough to watch a movie? Or even read? No, I couldn’t. On the flight to California I decided to watch a classic movie (my opinion of classic). It is called Never Been Kissed. For those of you who have not seen this movie it’s about a reporter who goes back to high school to find a good undercover story. Well, this girl was a nerd in high school, so the movie is pretty much about her trying to become popular to get a good story. Well, in the process she falls in love and writes her whole report about how she has never been kissed. As I sat there on the plane I felt a connection with this character. I too have never been kissed.

                I am 22 years old and I have never been kissed. The older I get the more embarrassing it becomes. It is not like I have not wanted to kiss any of my dates, but I just haven’t. Let me give you a few reasons why; well this is the main reason, it is because of my friends. I joke around when I meet a new person and I say “99% of my friends are girls.” I am not exaggerating when I say that. Recently the percentage has decreased, but the point is most of my friends are girls. So I hear the girl talk, I hear the stories some guys would kill to hear, and I also hear the stories guys would throw up over. So the point is, all these girls have made me self-conscious. (I know they are all angry with me at this point) The reason I blame them is because I hear what they like, what they don’t like, and what they hated about their dates (“He bought me dark hot chocolate! Who drinks dark hot chocolate!?”) These are things I laugh at, and then I tell myself that I will never do something like that to a girl I like. Those complaints also include stories when the girl went on a pity date and the guy tried to kiss them. Putting them in that situation is funny after the fact, but really awkward during the action. Do you see where I am going with this?

I am always second guessing myself, especially when it comes to asking a girl out. “Was she just being friendly or does she think I am cute? Does she want to go out with me because she feels bad about saying ‘no.’ or is she really excited to go on the date?” Then we get to the point of the date is over we had fun, she says she wants to go out again (which turns out to be a lie, she has a boyfriend but was too afraid to tell you that). Wow… I was venting for a minute there… the point is I do not want to make the first move because I don’t want to scare the girl off. So nothing ever happens because most girls want the guy to make the first move.

                Recently I have had a crush on a girl in my math class. She is also in my sociology class, but I get to talk to her more during math. I have wanted to ask her out for a while now, and I think I lost my opportunity today. We had our final and I missed the last few classes because of my trip to San Francisco, so I did not know anything I was doing. I wanted to finish before her or about the same time so I could talk to her and finally ask her out. Alas, the Gods are against me, she got done before me and I was just dust in the wind. I finished my test about an hour later. So I did not get a date and I probably failed that test. Hopefully I get another opportunity before the semester is completely over.

                As I have been thinking of ways to ask her out I have also had to think of ways to tell her, “Yes I am 22 and I have not kissed anyone.” Or I would make a game of it and ask her how many guys she has kissed, so when she asks me I can tell her zero. But is that a turn off? It must be because usually when I tell people that they either laugh or look really uncomfortable.

                It is not like all my chances to kiss someone are awkward like that. When I was a junior in high school I went to a school dance with a girl I really liked. I figured she liked me because she asked me to the dance. We had fun throughout the whole day. I had curfew at 12 so I took her home just before my carriage turned back into a pumpkin. It kind of got quiet in the car and I had just put on chap stick, so she was thinking I was going to make the move (but remember I don’t make the first move) so I said “Well I had fun, thanks for inviting me. I’ll see you Monday.” And then I let her walk to the door alone. I LET HER WALK TO THE DOOR ALONE! I. Am. An. Idiot. so there you have it. I could have joined the rest of society. But because I did not seize the opportunity to make my move, I now fit into the relationship status of elementary aged kids. (Even some of them are further along in this than I am) I am working on it! Hopefully not all my chances to ask out the Math hottie are gone. I guess since I spilled the beans, I will keep you all posted.

Dr.K

(Song: My first Kiss Artist: 3OH!3)